Well I've got a gal, she's as cute as she can be. She's a distant cousin but she's not too distant with me.

Oh noes! I missed noting Elvis's birthday yesterday. Happy birthday big guy. Here's a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich for you.

Also noteworthy is that today marks only eleven more days of having to endure the monkey juggling the hand grenade. Yay!

I see the Florida Tebows won the BcS "championship" last night. Thanks AP voters for supporting that bullshit. I am rooting big time that the Utah AG's potential lawsuit breaks up that joke of a system once and for all. Playoffs!

Lockwood has a link up to a great nerd test. I scored nerd god. Bow down before me my fellow geeks.

I'm with randal graves. I thought it was kind of cool that bands began releasing music on vinyl again but my daughter got me an old style album for Christmas and I'm still still scratching my head as to how I'm going to get it to play. I have a turntable somewhere but will it even work with my super modern stero equipment.

Swinebread wrote a nice little post about the classic film "The Warriors."

Ubermilf picked on rich people who don't know how to put cream cheese on a bagel. Like it's so damned simple to spread that stuff.

Don snabulus wins the "Simultaneous Hope and Bile" award for his post that contained this: "With that said, I think the passing of Dubya, like a painful kidney stone, is worth celebrating, so the inauguration will be time for joy at Rancho Snabulus."

Dguzman uses that mathy thingy to prove Bush was a failure. I don't need math to tell me that. Any man that chokes on a pretzel is not a man to be trusted with nuclear secrets.

Distributorcap NY is still taking nominations for Douchebags of the Year. Harry Reid rightly leads the pack.

Monkey von Monkerstein has his own plan to revive the economy. His best idea: "Keep all the proposed stimulus money out of the hands of banks, financial professionals, and anyone connected with any Wall Street institution."

Enigma asks a question I've been wondering myself: "Dear Mr. Bush, did you give your blessing for the violence in Gaza that's killing women, children and refugees?" Israel doesn't make a move without consulting the United States. Besides being an enormously immoral act, this comes across as the Bush administration's version of removing the letter"w" from keyboards on the way out the door. Only in their version people die.

Pissed Off Patricia has spent most of the week sipping martinis. I'm so jealous.

Thoughtcriminal makes the clever observation that, if you predict something has a roughly 40% chance of happening, you will never have it held against you if it never happens.

I wrote similar responses to this post by Liberality apologizing to the people of Gaza and this post by franiam asking about the definition of "peace." Here's why I sigh and shake my head when I watch the violence like that which has recently erupted in Gaza--

I believe that there are two types of people in the world.

In the first category falls the majority of the world's population. Whether they live in Senegal or Syracuse these people can be defined as having no other goal than wanting to live their lives safe and unmolested.

These people (and I count myself in this category) simply want to spend their days going to work, whether it's a factory or a farm, come home to watch a football (or soccer) game, make love to their husband or wife (or SO) and go to sleep with a satisfied smile on their face.

They have no larger goals in life other than celebrate the addition of children to their families, share the joy as those children beat life's challenges and dance at the weddings or graduations of those same children.

The other type of people are unfortunately a little more driven (type A?) which often puts them leadership positions within whatever society they inhabit. They tend want to believe something so strongly that they're willing to start wars over that belief. Sadly, these wars are ultimately fought by the rest of us who just want to live our lives in peace.

If we could just get this second group of people out of power the world would be a much better place.

(In case anyone is wondering- Elvis falls into that second category but he was the rare form of benevolent dictator.)

He's an angry elf.

Ubermilf mentioned she's been a bit overwhelmed lately so in honor of her I'm posting Grandma Barb's Homemade Hot-Buttered Rum Mix recipe. We start making this around mid-November and usually have a batch in our freezer to spread holiday cheer.

Hopefully she can find some time to make up some of this and enjoy it.

Hot Buttered Rum Mix

1 cup or 2 cubes of butter
1/2 to 1 box brown sugar

Cream together

Add: 1/2 pint of French vanilla ice cream and mix. Keep frozen.

Hot Buttered Rum

1 heaping Tablespoon of batter, 1or so ounces of Rum, hot water, stir not shake. Dash of Nutmeg on top if you like.

It's not the lowest calorie concoction around, on the other hand after a couple of these you may find yourself running naked around the neighborhood wearing not but a Santa hat screaming you "Santa's got a candy cane," building snowmen in the neighbor's yards even though it's not snowing only to be brought down by a gaggle of elves that look suspiciously like state troopers and pummeled into unconsciousness. All of that burns a lot of calories.

If you're like me you might just prefer sitting down with a buttered rum and enjoying a David Letterman Top Ten list. In this case here are the top ten Christmas movies playing in Times Square--

10. The Stocking Stuffer
9. Prancer and Dancer Meet Lancer
8. Live on Stage! Bob Cratchitt and Mrs. Cratchitt Doing It!
7. The Night the Grinch Stole a Guy's Wallet on the `D' Train
6. Up Santa's Chimney
5. Miracle on 69th Street
4. Frosty the Butt Man
3. Rotating Pies
2. The Nutcrackers

And the number one Christmas movie playing in Times Square...

1.That Ain't Egg Nog!

Many wars and feuds did Conan fight. Honor and fear were heaped upon his name and, in time, he became a king by his own hand.

The very cool West Coast Walker was kind enough to tag me with the Superior Scribbler Award.. It means a lot coming from Matt because between you, me and the wall, I harbor no doubt he's quite a bit smarter than me. But let's keep that on the QT.

Superior Scribbler Rules and Responsibilities:*The Rules: Every Superior Scribbler will name 5 other Super Scribblers.If you are named you must link to the author & the name of the blog that gave you the award. Then you must display the adorable award and link to THIS POST, which explains the award. The same post also allows you to add your link. Then they will have a record of all the people who are Super Scribblers!

My Nominees:

Pissed Off Patricia who hasn't seemed so pissed off lately but actually happy and hopeful. Maybe she should change her name to "Joyful Patricia."

Ubermilf who with great consistency makes me laugh with her unique take on the crazy world of parenting, being a milf and shirtless ranting.

Swinebread who doesn't blog as much as he used to because of the whole having a newborn at home thing but still provides my regular fix of comic book news.

Lockwood who has a wonderful dry sense of humor that I assume comes from the fact he resides in the rainiest state in the union.

Enigma who live-blogs all the important political events. An achievement dwarfed by the fact that she seems to be sober when doing so.

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid.

So much going on today!

Reporting from London -- If history records a sudden surge in carbon emissions on Wednesday, it may be due to the collective exhalation of relief and joy by the hundreds of millions -- perhaps billions -- of people around the globe who watched, waited and prayed for Barack Obama to be elected president of the United States.

Gordo goes down in flames. It's about time. There've been a number of letters to the editor of the local paper from Eastern Oregon whining that, if the state elects two Democratic Senators they won't be represented. To this I simply say "STFU and sit down." 1) If Gordon Smith had been a real Republican moderate in the mold of Bob Packwood or Tom McCall he would've been Senator for life and 2) In Texas over 2 million people voted for challenger Rick Noriega in his unsuccessful bid to defeat John Cornyn. Those 2 million people have no representation in the U.S. Senate by this weird logic.

As far as I'm concerned the far right has had more than enough representation in the nation's capital these last twenty years.

"Jurassic Park" author Michael Crichton is dead. I've enjoyed a lot of his earlier work but his recent cranky pseudo-scientific scepticism towards the concept of human activity contributing to global warming has caused me to question his greatness as a sci-fi writer.

Not to toot my own horn too much but in a fake article from the future I wrote back on October 10th I had this: A state-by-state breakdown of those returns gave the President-elect more than 345 electoral votes, a commanding victory in the Electoral College, which requires 270 for election. His victory included states such as North Carolina and Virginia given to choosing Republican candidates in the last several Presidential elections.

I should buy a lottery ticket.

Ubermilf and randal graves have posts that riff off of "Caddyshack" and "Animal House" respectively. I've seen that latter film a couple of times...

These four photos say everything about the election.

We who are of noble blood may not follow the wishes of our hearts.

She was suddenly gripped by the embiggened hand of Zeus. As his giant, Kong-like hand engulfed her she thought to herself "I hate it when my husband does this." As much as Hera disliked it when Zeus made himself into a giant, little did she realize her discomfort paled in comparison to that of the Greek poli tending to their sheep in the fields far below Olympus. From their vantage point they had a straight shot up Zeus's giant toga and his enormous, shriveled junk. Hera had no idea how hard it was to worship a King of the Gods that had enormous, shriveled junk.

"Listen you goat-eating bitch," bellowed Zeus. "If I want to have a beer after work with Poseidon and the other guys it's none of your business."

"I refuse to talk about it," hissed Hera. "Until you put me down and make yourself a more manageable size."

Zeus may of been the King of the Gods, Lord of Thunder and Banisher of Cronus to his subjects, but behind the scenes he was derisively referred to as "Lord Pussywhipped" by his Olympian buddies. As he shrunk down to his normal six foot tall frame he gently set his wife onto the marble floor of Olympus. From the fields below the Greek Sheepherders let out a collective sigh of relief.

"Sorry dear," mumbled Zeus. "I haven't had much coffee today."

Hera brushed herself off and glared at Zeus. "Are you sure you were just out having a beer with Poseidon and not playing find the cyclops with some strumpet on Mount Ida?"

Zeus looked like somebody had just peed in his Wheaties. "What makes you say that?"

"Because, my oafish husband, I was that strumpet."

"Impossible," said Zeus. "The woman I was with looked like Elizabeth Taylor circa 'Cleopatra' and you look Elizabeth Taylor circa Michael Jackson."

"I had Aphrodite over to help with a makeover," Hera said through a clenched smile. "She did the hair, the makeup, the whole nine yards."

Zeus sank into his throne, defeated. "The sex was so great, too."

Hera smirked. "Don't flatter yourself."

Now it was Zeus's turn to be gripped by something awful. He was being gripped by fear, a sense of dread and a divine certaintity that his life was going to be very, very bad in the near future. Such is the life of the gods.

To show the world the true Hitler, the Hitler you loved, the Hitler you knew, the Hitler with a song in his heart.

I wonder if when Bush leaves office someone will write a musical about him?



(Don't the pretzel and beer stein dancers remind you of Ubermilf?)

(Yes, I godwined my own blog. Phhhttttt!)