Friday, February 01, 2008

It's like my mom says, "The weak are always trying to sabatoge the strong."

Via Americablog I came across this snippet of a "fact-check" on comments Obama made during the debate yesterday delineating the difference between himself and Clinton. (Before you watch this let me state right out of the gate that Dan Abrams is a douchebag and Rachel Maddow is a goddess.)

Put aside that body language at the State of the Union nonsense at the end of the piece and I do think that the other four issues Obama brings up are actually key issues to most Democrats and progressives. How he and Clinton come down on those topics should be enormously important to progressives.

Here's a little chart I threw together listing out Obama's four points while comparing his record with Clinton's---

THIS is a big part of the reason so many of us are down on these two candidates. On the key issues important to us surrounding the war Clinton and Obama have either voted the wrong way or run away from a vote on those items. Obama's speech against the war is terrific reading but it still leaves us in the position of having to take him at his word that he would've voted against the AUMF had he been in the Senate. If you'll recall during the actual debate on that bill LOTS of Senators made remarks very similiar to Obama's then turned around and voted FOR the stupid bill.

I will say that when it comes down to brass tacks Obama's record is marginally better than Clinton's. Personally I find the vote for the AUMF unforgivable, although I understand a lot of progressives are willing to put it behind them. It was clear to me at the time that we were being railroaded into war and I'm just a simple guy living a middle class lifestyle, not a U.S. Senator. The fact that she voted for Kyl-Lieberman proves that she's learned absolutely nothing.

Neither of the candidates stood up against the Mukasey nomination even though their votes were important, especially if Democrats had been allowed to manuever a fillibuster by leadership. I guess making sure we have an AG that understands that the methods employed during the Inquisition might not fit well into the framework of our own constitution just wasn't a priority for them.

I know that as the campaign progresses and I'm forced to wrap my head around the idea of a "President McCain" I'm going probably going to have to force myself to hold my nose and vote for one of these candidates. In doing so I just want to make it clear that these are not the best candidates the Democratic party, or the country for that matter, have to offer.

Not by a long shot.

The penis is evil.

I'm extremely happy that I can jointly announce with my good friend Swinebread that hostilities in the Great Cheesy Video War have come to an end.

Families of both our great nations can now relax comfortable in the knowledge that no longer will they face the threat of Monkees in tanks, Pimp Shatners or dancing Adam Wests.

I would like to quickly observe that this peace would've left a better taste in my mouth had Swinebread not decided to serve Zardoz cocktails at the signing ceremony on the deck of the Faber Deathmobile. But that's water under the bridge.

In the off chance that any other blog take this peace as a sign of weakness and that my oblique whisper of "Walken" was nothing but an empty threat, I leave you with but a glimpse of the darkness which will descend upon them should anyone dare threaten my blog--

Thursday, January 31, 2008

That's just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs!

Mickey Dolenz wandering shirtless through the desert? I can't decide whether Swinebread's video attack is hurting my brain or my eyes more. Vicious. Bloody vicious.

I suppose that we could go on this forever but I'm willing to call it a draw and sue for peace. Should Swiney fail to accept my olive branch here's a demonstration of the awesome power of this blog-star I still hold in reserve---

Witness the power of my Singing James Bond of Doom!

I'd give this very, very careful thought if I were you, Swinebread. I still have at least one more ace up my sleeve and without giving too much away it's name is "Walken."

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

It looks bad, Batman. This brassy bird has us buffaloed.

Swinebread thinks his Wells meets Woods is a TKO. While I admit it left me smarting, I still have the strength to drag myself off the mat and sucker-punch him with a Batusi...

Stuff that up your Stately Wayne Manor, Swiney!

The winner would decide the outcome of the entire war.

A bugler played "Taps" in the backgrounds as I slowly deleted the Edwards For President link from the sidebar.

Our next President will be named either Clinton, Obama, McCain or Romney.

God help us all.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Nobody hipped me to that, dude.

I see Swinebread's Psycho Gigolo Shatner and raise him a dancing Pee Wee ---

Your call, Swiney.

I'm king of the world!

In last night's State of the Union the President laid out an ambitious agenda as to what he plans to do in his last year in office...

Clear brush from the last 83 acres on his ranch. This will only require 200 days of vacation.

Give more backrubs to tense foreign leaders. Gordon Brown you are first on the list.

Enlist more celebrities in the GWOT, including his favorite actor.

Finally beat Cheney's grandkid at Candyland.

Visit the Alamo and recover his stolen bike from the basement.

Take on and defeat that bag of al qaeda pretzels.

Finish "Cliffs of Dover" on easy level of Guitar Hero 3.

Monday, January 28, 2008

One cannot be betrayed if one has no people.

None of the above?

Obama promises a world filled with puppies and daisies in his NC victory speech because, goshdarnit, we just all have to get along and things will go swell.

Clinton breaks a promise all the Democratic candidates made not to try and seat Florida and Michigan delegates since the states bucked the national party by moving up their primaries. Huh. Didn't see that coming.

Edwards is running for Attorney General in an Obama White House. I'm sure that's great news to all of us who donated for a PRESIDENTIAL run and to get away from this sort of bullshit politics. Of course this rumor comes by way of the Great Satan so take it as you will.

McCain will skip Bush's State of the Union. Other Senators are heard to mutter "lucky" in a Napoleon Dynamite voice. He's also still nuts just in case you were wondering.

Romney asks advice on the Middle East from the one man less qualified to give it than George Bush. The only thing Cheney is qualified to advise anyone on is how to shoot a man in the face without killing him.

Huckabee stumps for the "Fair Tax." He's also pushing to be declared Emperor of the Moon and for a harem made up of biological clones of Jessica Alba. The man's full of great ideas.

Giuliani who?

Is it any wonder Americans prefer "American Gladiators" to politics? At least Gladiators is honest about the snake oil it's pushing.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

My balls are freezin! I never thought I'd say THAT with a smile on my face.

I guess I'll be staying inside today.

There's more white stuff around these parts than George Bush's college apartment.