I'm not a bad witch! I'm a good witch!

This story tickles me to no end.

"Wiccan Teacher Wins Lottery Jackpot

Tuesday September 4, 2007 7:31 PM

BALTIMORE (AP) - The Maryland Lottery on Tuesday validated a winning Mega Millions ticket purchased by an accountant who teaches the Wiccan religion.

Elwood ``Bunky'' Bartlett said he will take a lump sum cash payment. His quarter share of Friday's Mega Millions jackpot amounts to about $48.6 million, or $32.6 million after taxes. He took the cash option because he can invest the money better than anyone else, Bartlett said after a meeting with lottery officials at the agency's headquarters in Baltimore.

Bartlett, 40, of Dundalk, said his win will allow him to devote his time to teaching people about Wicca, a nature-based religion. He said he also wants to buy a big house with a pool, but he doesn't plan to stop eating at McDonald's or buying his clothes at Wal-Mart. "

This has to drive the Evangelicals absolutely bonkers. An evil witch was more worthy that all of the devout Christians that bought lottery tickets. (evil laugh)Moouuuhhahahahahahah!(/evil laugh)

What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?

So after he retires Bush plans on founding the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too. He wants to call it the "Freedom Institute.” Left unsaid is the only freedom Bush would be qualified to speak on would have to be of the tampon variety. The actual concept of "freedom" is way beyond his limited presidential intellect.

Kill my boss? Do I dare live the American dream?

Happy Labor Day! In celebration let's all avoid shopping at Wal-Mart today, mmmkay?