We did everything just the way grownups would have. Why didn't it work? Things would be much better here if it wasn't for him. I wish he was dead.

Al Gore.

At this point that's who I want to be the next President of the United States.

Today's Oregonian ran a follow-up piece to the The Inconvenient Truth controversy in the Federal Way, Washington school district. It seems the student environmental club that wanted to show the film after school (facts conveniently omitted from the original piece) will be allowed to show the film but it will be the principal as to whether a film expressing an "opposing viewpoint" will be shown afterwards. I'm sure you recall the original story. Frosty Hardison, the ignorant rube, er parent, leading the fight against the film had summed up her outrage thusly: "Condoms don't belong in schools and neither does Al Gore."

Sure he does. He belongs in the front of the classroom where they hang the picture of the current President right next to the American flag.

Really there are three reasons why I personally want Al Gore to run and why I want him to win. The first two are noble, the third I recognize is less than mature on part.

The first reason is that it would simply be good for the country to once again have a smart, engaged President.

The second is that Al Gore's post-VP endeavors and particularly his work on global warming have won him huge good will with the world. President Gore could do a lot to restore all of the global good will of friends and allies tossed away so carelessly by President Bush.

My own petty selfish reason for wanting Al Gore to be President? Imagine if you will a January in 2009 when the next President of the United States, Al Gore, is being sworn in. In front of him holding the bible and administering the oath of office is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Just behind him is the man vacating the office - George W. Bush. Surrounded by people that hate him Bush would have to sit through a ceremony honoring a man and correcting the historic mistake of 2000. He'd have to hand the keys back to the grown-ups.

Run Al, run!

Although Kazakhstan a glorious country, it have a problem, too: economic, social, and Jew.

"Condoms don't belong in school, and neither does Al Gore," says Federal Way parent Frosty Hardison as they convinced the school board to limit showings of an "Inconvienient Truth" to the students. She's described as the "parent of seven" so obviously her problem with condoms is that she loves the soldier but hates the helmet.

FEDERAL WAY, Wash. — The school board in this suburb south of Seattle has restricted showings of Al Gore's movie on global warming, including requiring that it be balanced with an adequate opposing viewpoint.

The board also required Superintendent Tom Murphy to approve when the former vice president's film, "An Inconvenient Truth," can be presented.

The decision was sparked by complaints from parents who said their children were taking the film as fact after viewing it at school.

"Condoms don't belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He's not a schoolteacher," said Frosty Hardison, a parent of seven children who doesn't want the film shown at all.

"The information that's being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is," Hardison told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. "The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn't in the DVD."

Board President Ed Barney told The News Tribune of Tacoma on Jan. 10 that he had received about a half-dozen complaints from parents.

A whole half dozen complaints? Wow. Well, by all means then accomodate the ignorant, mouth-breathing, slope-browed yahoos who think the biblical perspective of the earth burning through the end times needs to be included in a video covering a scientific theory accepted by the vast majority of climatologists worldwide.

I hope the Federal Way school board takes a massive heaping of shit for this now that it's made the national news. They deserve it. It is not the business of schools to accomodate the ignorant. Ignorance is a condition they've been specifically tasked with correcting.