Friday, October 31, 2008

There was howling just a minute ago.

Happy Halloween y'all!

For me this Halloween is bittersweet and, truth be told, I'm feeling a little old. My youngest hurt his knee at football practice a couple of weeks ago so this will be the first Halloween in fifteen years that I won't be trick or treating with my kids. Jesus, life moves fast.

On the other hand this holiday in celebration of all things scary is actually a day of hope. Our long, eight year nightmare meets the beginning of the end next Tuesday. That warms my heart.

Just a reminder: remember to check any apples you get trick or treating for razor blades. I've heard that warning since I was a kid.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

We're friends 'til the end, remember?

This video is pretty sappy but it still choked me up. Charles is an 86-year old Obama volunteer has lived through the Depression, World War 2, Civil Rights and just recently lost his wife of 69 years. Charles won* a drawing at the office to meet Barack face to face.

(* If I was the one pulling the name out of the box I would've called out "Charles" regardless of which name was on that card. I suspect this may of been in play, but it's not important to the fact he got to meet Barack.)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Baby's fat. You fat... fat and juicy.

X-files reference to follow.

Mama Peacock says: "My sons and I support Maverick McCain."

It is he who commands you! It is he who flung you from the gates of Heaven to the depths of Hell!

Just in case anybody is interested here's how I voted on the important stuff---

President: Are you kidding?

U.S. Senator: There are lots of reasons to despise sometimes-moderate Gordon Smith but in my own estimation Gordo showed he was unfit for office years ago when he voted to impeach President Clinton over a peccadillo. I proudly voted for Jeff Merkley.

A couple of ballot intititives I support---

Measure 54: (Voter Eligibility) Fixes a portion of the Oregon Constitution that says voters need to be 21-years old and pass a literacy test. We'll have no literate voters here.

Measure 56: (Kills Double Majority) I've hated the double majority measure which voters put in place in 1996. Essentially it's one of those deals where over 50% of registered voters have to vote for any property tax to pass, regardless of whether it pulls a majority of votes. 1) Non-voters shouldn't get as much of a say as actual voters and 2) Vote by mail has made the original arguments for the double majority obsolete.

A measure I was sympathetic to but voted against---

Measure 65: (Open Primaries) The measure opens primaries up to all registered voters regardless of primaries with the top two vote-getters going to the general. This was a tough one but I do think this opens the primaries up to a lot of mischief that will hurt moderate-leftists more than those on the other side. I would like to see instant runoff voting instead. Having said all that I can see why progressives are voting for the measure, I'm just worried about the consequences.

Most of the other measures are the typical anti-state government nonsense that wind up on the ballot every election. Every state seems to have a resident loon who makes a living getting these things on the ballot. In Oregon that loon is Bill Sizemore. I will never vote for a Bill Sizemore inititive. He makes that declaration easy by throwing the worst sort of crap on our ballots.

No on measures 57,58,59,60,61,62,63 and 64.

Happy election everybody!

Monday, October 27, 2008

We who are of noble blood may not follow the wishes of our hearts.

She was suddenly gripped by the embiggened hand of Zeus. As his giant, Kong-like hand engulfed her she thought to herself "I hate it when my husband does this." As much as Hera disliked it when Zeus made himself into a giant, little did she realize her discomfort paled in comparison to that of the Greek poli tending to their sheep in the fields far below Olympus. From their vantage point they had a straight shot up Zeus's giant toga and his enormous, shriveled junk. Hera had no idea how hard it was to worship a King of the Gods that had enormous, shriveled junk.

"Listen you goat-eating bitch," bellowed Zeus. "If I want to have a beer after work with Poseidon and the other guys it's none of your business."

"I refuse to talk about it," hissed Hera. "Until you put me down and make yourself a more manageable size."

Zeus may of been the King of the Gods, Lord of Thunder and Banisher of Cronus to his subjects, but behind the scenes he was derisively referred to as "Lord Pussywhipped" by his Olympian buddies. As he shrunk down to his normal six foot tall frame he gently set his wife onto the marble floor of Olympus. From the fields below the Greek Sheepherders let out a collective sigh of relief.

"Sorry dear," mumbled Zeus. "I haven't had much coffee today."

Hera brushed herself off and glared at Zeus. "Are you sure you were just out having a beer with Poseidon and not playing find the cyclops with some strumpet on Mount Ida?"

Zeus looked like somebody had just peed in his Wheaties. "What makes you say that?"

"Because, my oafish husband, I was that strumpet."

"Impossible," said Zeus. "The woman I was with looked like Elizabeth Taylor circa 'Cleopatra' and you look Elizabeth Taylor circa Michael Jackson."

"I had Aphrodite over to help with a makeover," Hera said through a clenched smile. "She did the hair, the makeup, the whole nine yards."

Zeus sank into his throne, defeated. "The sex was so great, too."

Hera smirked. "Don't flatter yourself."

Now it was Zeus's turn to be gripped by something awful. He was being gripped by fear, a sense of dread and a divine certaintity that his life was going to be very, very bad in the near future. Such is the life of the gods.

Well it's kind of a... kind of a mass, it keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Ed Rollins says that after the election Sarah Palin "is going to be the most popular Republican in the country."

Talk about your low bar...