Thursday, July 03, 2008

Let's give that son-of-a-bitch bear a run for his money!

Stephen Colbert is right. Bears are not our friends.

It seems there have been a rash of bear attacks including one within a couple of miles of my house here in Oregon.

"I believe all God's creatures have a soul — except bears, Bears are actually Satan's children." - Colbert.

Of course there's a good reason the bears are pissed. If you had to listen to years of the constant nay-saying and harping of this guy you'd probably go a bit nuts yourself.

How did you get to be the way you air anyhow? A-sittin' up here in this filthy hole?

A couple of quick things on the Sonics move to Oklahoma.

The first is that this isn't good for Portland. It relieves pressure on Paul Allen to provide a quality product with the Blazers. He's been rumored to want to move the team to Seattle for some time now. I'd hate to see Allen's commitment to turn the team around falter because of this.

The other thing is that Commissioner David Stern's warnings to Seattle that they better get their act together on a new arena if they hope to have a new team in Seattle are rubbing me the wrong way. I love sports and I know this sort of stuff happens all the time with professional teams putting pressure on municipalities but Stern's talking about public money.

Don't even get me started on how Stern allowed Sonic's owner Clay Bennett to simply go through the motions of trying to get the Sonics turned around so they could stay in Seattle when it was clear from the start Bennett wanted to move the team to Oklahoma. Seattle bears a bunch of the blame for the team moving but they also got a bit of the shaft from the league.

Oh well. Good luck to the Oklahoma Bisons or whatever the hell they wind up calling the Sonics. May you have better fortune in Soonerland. You'll need it.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

A wa-fer thin mint?

Not feeling much like blogging today.

We just had a big barbecue at work out on the deck overlooking the city and I'm stuffed.

Mmmm watermelon.

You could say there's a party in my tummy.

(The Surgeon General warns against watching the above video without being under the influence of one or more controlled substances.)

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Persian cowards.

Via the Poor Man Institute we have another example of screwed up sexuality in conservatives, this time via their strange fixation on the film 300.

For those of you have yet to see 300, do yourselves a favor and see it. (Warning: Spoiler Alert)

This movie is not just about the past. It's about today. Right now.

It's about each one of you who stands in the breach against the enemy.

And it's about each one of you who stands against the enemy within, who would happily widen that breach.


And so I say to the left:We are the tip of the spear.

We will fight you. We will never yield.

This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this.

"Tip of the spear?"

"Over quickly?"

Why do I feel like Andy Dufresne in Shawshank prison when I read this?

Oddly this hysterical little rant in which the conservative author is quite serious about how conservatives resemble Spartans, reminded me of a funny remark I read last week in the comment section of Slash Film regarding the possibility of a sequel to 300.
I thought 300 was the most homo-erotic thing I have ever seen on screen. Coincidently, all the frat boys at my school loved it.

The 101st Fighting Keyboardists sitting alone in their parent's basement, waxing poetic about the courage and bravery demonstrated in 300 would do us all a favor if they would just admit that real appeal of that movie for them is that it has a bunch of buff, half-naked men running around jabbing other men with their big spears.

They might also want to check out Mamma Mia! when it's released in a couple of weeks. Although it won't be as bloody as 300, I'm sure they'll find something that appeals.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Brilliance. That's all I can say. Sheer, unadulterated brilliance!

From the media uproar at General Clark's comments it's apparent that the media actually agree that getting shot down in a fighter jet does qualify one to be President.

I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that that the media assume great failure to be a leadership criteria. This is the same media that hoisted not one, but two Bush presidencies upon us. Nobody else demonstrates the theory of "failing upwards" to a greater degree than George W. Bush.

With this in mind here are some of the other things that qualify somebody to hold the highest office in the land--

Getting run over by a garbage truck while crossing the street.

Tripping and falling down a flight of stairs.

Marrying and then divorcing Madonna.

Getting beaten and mugged my a street gang dressed as baseball players.

Leading an attack on a Lakota settlement along the Little Bighorn river.

As I think about failure as leadership I'm able to narrow our choices down to three candidates. John McCain doesn't make this list but he is in the top 10.

Wile E. Coyote

Curly Howard

Captain Edward J. Smith