When the bomb goes off there'll be a thousand mutations! Andromeda will spread everywhere! They'll never be rid of it!

Aargh. Randal's tagged me with a story meme. Worse- it's not one I can blow off tagging others with because it relies on continuing the story.

I had been shuffling around the house for a few hours and already felt tired. The doorbell rang. I opened the front door and saw a figure striding away from the house, quickly and purposefully. I looked down and saw a bulky envelope. I picked it up. The handwriting was smudged and cramped, and I could only make out a few words. (Splotchy)

"Meet me at two o'clock at Grisham Square. Don't be late!"

What? I already had an appointment at that time. In fact, that was the only reason I had even taken off work that Wednesday. But, when I saw the photos, I knew I had to go and see what the hell was going on. Oh gosh, now I wish I hadn't, but how was I to know then that Elizabeth would take this whole thing so far? (Freida Bee)

She had exposed the nefarious Republican oil-for-neckties program, skillfully dismantling its diabolically brilliant mind control scheme, giving each man, woman and child his or her freewill back, and this had made her a national, nay, worldwide, heroine, but -- the fear -- the look of stark, otherworldly terror on the -- could they even be classified as faces anymore?

No, I had to swallow the overwhelming dread that was threatening to force me into complete shutdown, collapsing on the hallowed ground where I would silently, naively wish it all away until it came for -- me. Fruitlessly wiping away a flood of icy sweat, I knew I had to steel my resolve, look upon those photos once more and let them burn their horrific images in my psyche. Permanently. (Randal Graves)

Yet something was tickling my psyche, trying to work it's way to the surface of my consciousness like that bad memory for grade school I buried long ago. The one where I had to give a speech to the whole class and was trying to imagine them in their underwear so I wouldn't be nervous, when I suddenly realized I was the one who was in my underwear as I had forgotten to wear pants. I realized that the faces in the picture weren't faces after all. I was holding the picture upside down. (Dean Wormer)

I tag Overdroid, snabalus, swinebread, liberality and zaius.

Can't a man have a drink around this town in peace?

Tagged by Swinebread.

The nearest book, turn to page 123, locate the fifth sentence, and then post the next three sentences on my blog, and then tag five other people.

The nearest book is "Human Resources (HR) Policies for U.S. Employees."

"You are eligible for tuition reimbursement if you:

+ Are a U.S.-based regular or buffer employee

+ Work 30 hours or more per week."

Instead of tagging anyone else I decided to shoot them with a paintball gun instead. Since I can't do that online I'm off to visit the neighbors.

Shall we play a game?

Jess tagged me with the Six Questions virus. Just remember Jess that on the internet revenge is a dish served electronically. That may not make much sense, but I typed it just the same.

* The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.

* Each player answers the questions about himself or herself.

* At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

Ten Years Ago I Was

About 50 pounds lighter and not as thin on top.

Five Things on Today's To Do List

1. Purchase tickets to Iron Man.

2. Give wife, kids and chihuahua hug.

3. Pick up a pizza on the way home from work.

4. Call lawyer for update about accident.

5. Enjoy my favorite meal of Scotch, Waffles and Steak.

Things I'd do if I were a Billionaire

Buy a bigger blog with HUGE fonts.

Give more money to charity.

Buy a Unicorn.

Use the money to become self-sufficient (wind/ solar power, crops/ livestock, firearms and a tank.)

Three Bad Habits

1) Does blogging count?
2) Living like a hobbit sometimes especially when it comes to diet. "Elevensies anyone?"
3) Too much coffee.

Five Places I've Lived

Dorms, apartments, floors, bedrooms and in front of a computer at work.

Six Jobs I've had in Life

1) Shoe Clerk for Nordstroms.

2) Chippendales Dancer.

3) Production Assistant for low budget Kung Fu movie.

4) Manager of Temporary Employee franchise.

5) X-Wing pilot.

6) Manager at a Law Firm.

I tag Swinebread, don snabalus, Overdroid, Digby, Atrios and Kos.

Well, snap out of it!

I was happy to realize that the little tickle at the back of my brain wasn't an aneurysm, but that I had instead been tagged somewhere on the great wide internets.

The nature of this evil is to list 7 random things about yourself that people might not know. As I only loosely consider those with whom we interact on the web as "people" I think that leaves me pretty open to share a couple of things about me that friends and family already take for granted.

1) I play the bagpipes. Badly. I have a beautiful set of Shepherd's that I get out at each of my three kid's birthdays which I use to noisily wake them up.

2) I went to Catholic grade school and high school and briefly entertained thoughts of being a priest including spending some time at the local seminary when I was thinking about college.

3) I've had a crush on Barbara Eden since I was twelve.

4) I've been shot at. It was in high school and involved camping with a bunch of buddies, alcohol and a rifle. We beat the crap out of the guy that did it.

5) I still consider my best friend from when I was 10 years old to me my best friend even though we talk about once a year. Families and all...

6) Favorite candy: orange slices. Pure sugar, baby.

7) I've actually been afraid to write this because I'm not sure it's not illegal and the whole FISA thing makes me nervous. When you-know-who was visiting my city I went down to watch the protests and such during lunch and wound up in the odd situation of having his motorcade stop right by the corner I was standing on. I gave him the finger. It must've looked odd with all the protesters marching around and there's me in a tie and slacks showing him the bird. I'm actually pretty proud of that moment.

I'll ding Snabulus, West Coast Walker, Swinebread, Overdroid and

Jess Wundrun.

You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?

My desktop per Swinebread's evil game. I took this picture of this famous Pearl District building.