Next time we'll have a foolproof coffin.

There is no God.

To make a living people do many things God doesn't do.

I'm just going to do post covering all the stuff that's been on my mind and "clear the decks" in in a sense.

WEASELS - We were never going to win on FISA. If you think about it it's been Democrats that have allowed this to come close to passage each time until the netroots screamed bloody murder. I don't have a shadow of a doubt that party leaders decided after the last go round to spike it until the presidential primaries were over in order to give whomever our nominee was cover. Disgusting.

ET TU, BARACK? - A professor of constitutional law that doesn't understand the constitutionality of ex post facto law. It feels so great to see him trying to hide behind the skirts of the Dodd amendment to pull retroactive immunity. The chances of that passing are about as good as me flapping my wings and flying. Filibuster or die Mr. Obama.

DEVIL'S BARGAIN - With FISA in mind we get to vote for the President that will appall us regularly in the tradition of George W. Bush or the President that will disappoint us regularly in the tradition of Bill Clinton. Yay democracy!

THIS LITTLE PIGGY - Swinebread has outed himself as a looming papa. I know Mr. and Mrs. Swinebread in real life and I can tell you that little boy (they know) is going to have GREAT parents. Can't wait to meet the little bugger.

PALACE COUP AT FABER - Overdroid took advantage of the fact I was on vacation to utilize his long forgotten administrative rights to throw a wild Tom Tommorrow party at my blog. Lucky for me the damage was minimized when Overdroid got a spur of the moment job teaching improv to trial lawyers at Pepperdine at an event hosted by the infamous Ken Starr. I am not making that up.

LIKE A PACK OF WILD DINGOS - Ever watched one of those nature programs where a pack of dogs take down a gazelle? That's sort of what Franiam does with James Dobson. She doesn't even leave enough meat on the bones for the jackals.

SEVEN DIRTY WORDS - I have little to add to all the great eulogies of George Carlin but I admired the guy for the simple fact that he lived by nobodies rules but his own. He didn't broker bullshit and he didn't suffer fools. He'll be missed greatly.

TOLD YOU SO - Don Imus is a racist. Anybody with half a brain that listened to his show could tell you that. People with half a brain don't listen to his show so there you are.

IS HE PLUGGED IN? - I'm surprised John McCain is offering a prize for car battery. If anything I see him hoping they develop a better battery for pacemakers.

GOOD NORTHWEST POL - Oregon Representative Peter DeFazio has reintroduced his windfall profits tax on the oil industry bill. Among other things his bill would allow oil companies to avoid the tax if they spent some of any windfall profit on researching alternative energy sources or increasing refining capacity. It would also ban the export of any oil obtained on U.S. soil. Naturally the oil companies are against his bill.

BAD NORTHWEST POL - Washington state congressman Brian Baird who I listened to in an interview this morning. Among other acts of wankery he completely ignored a caller's point on FISA that the domestic spying had begun before 9/11 and argued that the surge was a success. Vancouver dems do us a favor and get rid of that asshole.

WORSTEST NORTHWEST POL- Senator Gordon Smith is a lying asshole. Smith says he's "one of the first to stand up to George Bush and other Republicans to end this war." Yeah, four years after the fact when he grew a spine. Shame on you Elizabeth Furse for going along with this crap.

I DID NOT KNOW THAT - Liberality hates flooding and rap music. If you rap about flooding she'll probably punch you in the face.

HELTER SKELTER- Joe the Troll wonders if Charles Manson associate Susan Adkins deserves freedom because she has six months to live. Only if she carves a little peace sign into her forehead.

COOL! - If I use a list of links to link to a dr. zaius list of links will it collapse the universe? I hope so.

I told you I had a lot on my mind.

They are the Nazgul, Ringwraiths, neither living nor dead.

A few Friday afternoon tidbits.

Cat's and dogs living together and the first documented case of the Bush administration acting responsibly when it came to national defense. It only took until there were only a few months left in his presidency for it to happen.

George Takei is taking advantage of the recent decisions in California on gay marriage to marry his long-term SO. Everybody in the Star Trek cast but William Shatner is invited.

I like Spike Lee but in this dust-up with Clint Eastwood he's being an asshole. 1) "Flags of Our Fathers" is biographical story based on the guys who were credited with putting the flag up at Iwo Jima, one of which happened to be a Native American I might add and 2) Eastwood is the guy that made "Bird."

I guess it isn't really news that Joe Lieberman is a horse's ass. But just in case you were having trouble identifying what part of the horse Lieberman actually represents, that article is for you.

This guys nails it. Labradoodles are tougher than Sauron's Nazgul. Hobbits chase them away with torches for God's sakes.

This isn't the real Mexico.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

If you're not too busy celebrating the victory of the Mexican army over the worthless frogs or working your way towards the worm at the bottle of a bottle of mescal, I'd point you towards the following diversions--

* Today is also anniversary of the sole lethal attack by the Japanese during WW II on American civilians on the mainland of the United States. It happened right here in Oregon.

* Swinebread, my kids spent Saturday watching Iron Man and partaking in Dim Sum and Free Comic Book Day. Once in a while my kids will tell me how cool I am. It's really not me. I just have cool friends like Swinebread.

* I caught Gordon Smith's new tv ad this weekend and it really gave me a chuckle. Smith doesn't have a challenger to his seat until after our primary on the 20th. Rather than wait to see which of the two democrats will be running against him he instead ran an ad attacking them both. This doesn't exactly exude quiet confidence on his part. Good.

* I'm going to pick-up Mario Kart Wii next weekend. Now if I can just figure a way to keep the missus away from it and the television. I can't afford to replace another flat screen.

* I continue to be scared by the growth of ocean dead zones. Besides the other side effects of global warming this is one that hits home for me directly. We going camping and crabbing off the coast every summer and the areas where coastal sea life can survive are shrinking at an alarming rate.

You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!

Tooling around the net yesterday made me feel a little silly with my lame attempt at an April Fool's joke. At least I wasn't the only one taking a stab at it. There were a ton of sites that tried throwing their readers for a loop. Most of the stuff was lamer than mine so I got that going for me. It wasn't a good day on the interwebs.

Some of the stuff on my mind and in no particular order-

At Swinebread's suggestion I just finished reading Alan Moore's "The Watchmen." Better late than never, eh? It's an amazingly layered piece of art that really transcends it's genre. Perhaps "transcends" isn't the right word. It elevates it's genre and shows what's possible.

I am concerned that there's so damn much there it may be unfilmable but, like Swinebread, I'm now excited to find out. If it's successful it might kill superhero movies for a while. There's going to be no way the other that's come out will be able to match the psychological depth of the characters in this story.

Jess Wundrun won a story contest where she's going to get to go to California and eat at that "Hell's Kitchen" guy's restaurant. If you haven't read her story it's pretty good. It's sort of Michael Jackson meets Martha Stewart.

I'm not sure Hillary Clinton picked the best metaphor for her campaign with "Rocky." If you remember the end of the original movie you'll know what I'm talking about.

Oh, and Mash did a nice tribute to journalist Dith Pran who died this week. I had a pretty right wing buddy in high school that was always dragging me to movies like "Invasion America USA" and "Red Dawn." He took me to see the "Killing Fields" and it really had a profound effect on my thinking about governments and totalitarianism. Pran was a very brave soul.

Sharon, don't you understand what's going on? The world's a disaster.

Man, you leave for the weekend and everything goes to hell. The Gaza strip erupts into violence, the U.S. bombs a Somali town, Iranian President Ahmadinejad visits Iraq, Venezuala and Ecuador are on the brink of war with Columbia and Van Halen breaks up yet again.

Sometimes one has to sit back and wonder if mankind will ever be able to break the genetic disposition to conflict and or if David Lee Roth's ego will always be too much for Eddie to overcome.

In Pakistan police fired tear gas at lawyers. If it was the United States the police would be heroes.

Russia held an election with the results somewhat questionable. Dmitri Medvedev will share power with outgoing Russian President Vladimir Putin. Thank God we've never had to face a situation where we had two Presidents here in the United States.

As a final sign that the apocalypse is nigh our own Overdroid won an ACME award from the prestigious ACME Comedy Theater in Los Angeles for Best Sketch Comedy series. Surely he is the Fourth Horseman.

(Note: this shot is not fuzzy. The subject is.)

I wish I didn't love ya; maybe I can enjoy life again.

So many cool things flying around the interwebs---

WGA Strike Over. Hooray for the writers! Does this mean American Gladiators will now be going away? Please?

Mike Huckabee says he doesn't want to be Vice President. That makes him and 300 million other Americans that agree with him. Or President for that matter.

Tomorrow is Indiana Jones 4 Trailer Day. I may even call in sick to work. My fourteen year old daughter is as excited as I am (she sent me a camera shot of the poster the minute she saw it in a theater lobby.)

M.A.S.H. set being rebuilt as possible camping site. Cool. How much fun would it be to have a drunken martini party in "the swamp?"

This Sick Astronaut story has an "Apollo 13" vibe to it. All I can see when I read about it is Tom Hanks peering out of a porthole at the moon. So close - yet so far.

Cthulhutech? What a really, really stupid idea. Still - it's nice to know Lovecraft has fans who don't even get his stories. It's called chaos, baby.

Blue Gal enjoys a bowl of Wild Animal Crunch for her morning-after-election breakfast.