Friday, September 22, 2006

"Fascinating" is a word I use for the unexpected. "Interesting" shall suffice here.

I heard Sam Seder quote a statistic during the "Majority Report" on the number of subpoenas issued the Clinton administration vs. those issued the Bush administration by congressional oversight committees and simply couldn't believe it. So I looked it up and found this article from The Boston Globe entitled "Congress Reduces it's Oversight Role" from November of 2005.

But the agenda was different during the Clinton administration. The government reform panel alone, for example, issued 1,052 subpoenas related to investigations of the Clinton administration and the Democratic National Committee from 1997 to 2002, and only 11 subpoenas related to allegations of Republican abuse.

Notice the writers parse the comparisons by using the term "Republican abuse" instead of "Bush administration" abuse. One can only assume they aren't comparing the number of subpoenas between the two adminstrations because there were no subpoenas issued to the Bush administration during that time period.


Er, I mean interesting.

I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to "Jackass"!

"Jackass 2" opens today and I just want to go on record as admitting that I'm entirely too much of a weenie to enjoy that brand of humor. In fact the thought I keep having as I read about the "Jackass" films is "why couldn't it have been Johnny Knoxville instead of Steve Irwin?"

You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.

The big consensus about yesterday's torture agreement is that the Democrats got punk'd by not participating in the discussions and by trust McCain and company once again to do what's right. Well there's a grain of truth to that I don't think it's entirely fair to John McCain. He was able to force some pretty meaningful changes to the bill out of the administration:

1) Abuse of prisoners won't be called "torture" nor will it be referred to by the administration's Orwellian "alternative interrogation techniques." Instead it will now be called "spending the weekend with your mother-in-law."

2) All CIA interrogators will begin each session with the phrase "Ve have vays of making you talk." This will absolve them of any restraints of the Geneva convention.

3) When John McCain meets for talks at the White House he gets to order lunch first before that "funny-looking aide with the big ears that takes forever to make-up his mind before he orders."

4) Waterboarding will now be done solely within the confines of a Hooters restaurant and with jello. Jelloboarding.

See- it wasn't a total loss.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I is disgustipated.

Thanks California for the Great Spinach Scare. Hopefully Bush will take out the Spinach farmers with Predators. If anything would make him a hero to millions of schoolchildren it would be that.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

My name is Julius and I am your twin brother.

Every time I read that there is no difference between the two major political parties I think of something like this.

UNBELIEVABLE! More shenanigans in the House. Seems like the Republicans have REVOTED on the Bush Torture Bill and narrowly passed it having waited until two Dems were out of the room. Goodbye democracy, it was nice while it lasted.

Since the Republicans took over the House over 10 years ago those sort of anti-democratic strongarm bullshit tactics have become sadly commonplace in the House. From big issues like denying Democrats any chance at amending bills and keeping them completely out of conference committee to petty little crap like denying them the use of government (read: ALL of ours) conference rooms for meetings, the Republicans have treated the representatives of over half the country as if their views were inconsequential.

Shame on the members of the Judiciary Committee who pulled this stunt.

By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

When Preznit Bush spoke before the UN yesterday we can count ourselves lucky that he didn't he avoided the use of prop vials of Anthrax when talking about the dangers of Iraqi Iranian WMDs. That would be just about the only thing we could count ourselves lucky as our idiot manchild once represents America's face to the world.

Apparently we're supposed to rejoice in the fact that the administration has dropped the bellicosity down a nudge:

Ilan Berman, vice president for policy of the American Foreign Policy Council in Washington, noted that Bush's comments to Iranians supported their right to nuclear energy.

"The administration is very slowly -- very slowly -- getting a little bit savvier about messaging to the Iranians," he said. "This is sort of an attempt -- a belated attempt -- to divide and conquer." (Washington Post)

Even if we take that observation at face value I'd still be shaking my head at that nonsense. I've said many times before that the President of the United States is much like the job of an airline pilot. There is simply no time for learning on the job. Putting someone in that position of responsibility who is unprepared could be fatal. Stick a plumber or a lawyer or even the owner of the Texas Rangers baseball club behind the wheel of a 747 and the chances are it will end in a flaming fireball.

So it's nice that a little common sense might be sinking in to all the thick skulls in this administration but it's a lot too little and it's much too late.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

There are a lot of long words in there, Miss; we're naught but humble pirates. What is it that you want?

Avast! Don Snabulus reminds us that today is the day we all talk like Cap'n Jack. Most days I talk like Cap'n Crunch so this is a welcome change.

If ye haven't checked Don's blog lately then run up your mainsail and tack over there. If ye don't I'll kick ye in the grapeshot with me peg-leg.

(Be sure to take the superhero quiz. I'm Superman. Only with thinning hair.)

Monday, September 18, 2006



Can you teach me to football, coach?

I'm kicking myself for turning off the Duck game half way through the fourth quarter. Apparently I missed one of the greatest finishes in college football history. Although it's not without controversy. The last minute onside kick being the focus of Oklahoma fans ire leading to claims they were robbed.

What's ironic is that part of the reason I turned the game off was that the calls (and non-calls) were going against the Ducks and I didn't see how they could pull it out. What's funny is that I didn't need to see some sort of conspiracy, or bias of the refs or whatever. I've been watching college ball long enough to realized dems the breaks, irritating as they may be.

But it seems to me more than a little bit hypocritical to whine about an admittedly horrible call on the onsides kick without also complaining about the blatant push-off that the Oklahoma receiver used to score a touchdown in the third quarter, or the fumble that really wasn't when Stewart was clearly down - both game changing momentum-breaking plays.

It was poorly called for more than just the last two minutes.