Friday, October 10, 2008

Are you saying it's from the future?

Sometimes my dreams aren't very exciting. For instance last night I dreamed that I was reading a newspaper. Only thing interesting was that the paper was from the future. November 5th to be exact.

OBAMA WINS!

Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois was elected the 44th President of the United States yesterday in an historic election marking the first time an African-American will assume the nation's highest office.

A state-by-state breakdown of those returns gave the President-elect more than 345 electoral votes, a commanding victory in the Electoral College, which requires 270 for election. His victory included states such as North Carolina and Virginia given to choosing Republican candidates in the last several Presidential elections.

Mr. Obama's victory speech in Springfield before a raucous crowd of thousands was frequently interrupted by chants of "yes we can!" Mr. Obama roused the crowd with a speech that included the promise that "yes we will."

In a break with tradition there apparently was no concession phone call from Mr. Obama's rival John McCain, nor any formal announcement of concession from his camp. Long time associates of Mr. McCain said this wasn't surprising given Mr. McCain's strongly competitive nature.

WORLD REACTION POSITIVE

Much of the world reacted positively to the news that Barack Obama had won the Presidential election. In Europe, where President George W. Bush enjoyed a contentious relationship with leaders, spontaneous celebrations of thousands of citizens broke out in the streets of Paris, Berlin and other European capitols.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel issued a statement saying "the German government values it's relationship with the United States under President Bush is looking forward to working with President Obama on the many joint challenges facing our two nations."

Average Europeans were less circumspect in their reaction to Mr. Obama's victory. On the Champs-Elysées Charles Faure was part of a group of several thousand French youth waving American flags at passing cars. "It's like you haven't seen an old friend in a long time," Mr. Faure said. "Suddenly he is back at your door and it's wonderful."

KENYA CELEBRATES IT'S 'FAVORITE SON.'

Throughout the nation of Kenya celebrations broke out in cities and villages. In the small village of Alego, from which Barack Obama's father hails, the town square was crowded with dancing and singing villagers. 70-year old Robert Akello took a break from dancing to proclaim "this is big miracle."

RELIEF AT BAHRAIN AIR FORCE BASE

At an "election party" at the Bahrain Air force Base in the Kingdom of Bahrain most of the soldiers interviewed would not state whether they'd voted for Mr. Obama or his rival John McCain. Nevertheless the spontaneous cheering that erupted in the room as the networks declared Mr. Obama the winner provided strong evidence of the preference of these troops.

One soldier who was willing to go on record admitted he had cast his vote for John McCain. "I didn't vote for Barack because I think McCain had more experience," said Corporal Steven Kelly. "But I can live with this."

CIVIL RIGHTS LEADERS JOYOUS

Reached by phone at his Rainbow Coalition headquarters Civil Rights leader Jesse Jackson said "I never thought we'd reach the top of the mountain," he said. "Words can't express how I feel right now but I wish Martin and Coretta and Rosa were here to see this."

MARKETS RISE ON NEWS

World markets which had lost 54% in the last few months reacted strongly to the news of Mr. Obama's victory. The Dow Jones Industrial gained 1256 points on closing with the NSDQ rising over 400 points. "Normally the markets don't like political change," said one Wall Street Analyst. "But in this case a little shakeup is just what the doctor ordered."

DEMOCRATIC SUPER-MAJORITY PLANS QUICK ACTION

On capitol hill Democratic House and Senate Leaders were quickly coming to terms that the election of Obama along with the now 60 vote majority in the Senate meant that they were able to force legislative action with any Republican support.

In Washington D.C. Senator Hillary Clinton made a statement in front of supporters that at times sounded like a victory speech of her own. "Now that we made sure we have a Democratic President I'm going to make sure we have a Democratic agenda," she said. "That means fixing the economy but it also means we do something about health care."

REPUBLICAN MOOD SOMBER

The mood among Republicans at the news that they were completely shut-out of federal government power for the first time in 25 years was somber. One elected official who declined to be named for this article said "you'd like to try and put a happy face on this but it's pretty clear voters don't like us."

Republican appointees in Federal agencies who would soon be without jobs were even more apocalyptic. "In the past this wouldn't be a problem because we would be able to find a job in the private sector easily after working for Bush," said Interior Department Manager Gramm Wellington III. "With the economy the way it is I'm actually having to send out resumes. If things stay they way they are I might have to move back in with my parents."



What say we make these headlines a reality?

18 comments:

ladybug said...

Those are the kind of dreams I like to have....now if I can only get some kind of hottie (like Sean Maher)in there as well, that would be great!

Snabby's been very indulgent of my Firefly/Serenity obsession....I guess that's why we're hitched!

Dean Wormer said...

ladybug-

He should be. That show is flat out great. One of the worst cancellations in my memory.

We get to see Swinebread Jr. this weekend. Pretty excited about that.

Don Snabulus said...

I conjure that this turn of events is just shiny.

I hope the voters will suss out a way to get those Goram crooks out of office.

Dean Wormer said...

don-

Excellent Captain Mal impression!

Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me

DivaJood said...

From your dreams to the voting public's hands - let this be true.

Liberality said...

I like that paper you were reading :)

Dean Wormer said...

diva-

Amen.

liberality-

It was a pretty happy one.

Randal Graves said...

Dear Mr. Fantasy,

You forgot the articles on the rise in wingnut violence post-inauguration.

Your BFF,

Reality. ;-)

ThoughtCriminal said...

I can hardly wait to read the story below the fold with quotes from McCain's concession speech. I'm hoping that he gets to make it before bedtime.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Yes. I'm in.

FranIAm said...

Dreams become reality!!

May it be so!!

Übermilf said...

I am very concerned for Obama's safety.

I think McCain is becoming a bit frightened, even, at the bloodthirsty demonization of Obama.

With wackos describing Obama as a terrorist and the AntiChrist, and people like the Klan already itching for a reason, I fear someone will make an assassination attempt.

okjimm said...

....on the many joint challenges facing our two nations....

hmmmmmm I mean, it was a good read, and all, but I think you took your joint challenges too literal...

Dean Wormer said...

randal-

As long as it's wingnuts harming themselves I'm okay with that.

thoughtcriminal-

I don't think he'll concede. But he will pout and make excuses.

franiam-

Yup!

ubermilf-

I feel the same way but remind myself that he's well guarded. I think the bummer is going to be he's not going to be able to mingle as much as president as he may like.

okjimm-

Is that an age or a ganja joke?

Westcoast Walker said...

AMEN!

Freida Bee said...

My lord, you remeber your dreams with astonishing clarity!

I am seriously looking forward to seeing how much of this comes to pass.

duros62 said...

I had a dream that McCain gave his concession speech....today.

Dr. Zaius said...

Yes!