Friday, February 16, 2007

I think it's important you remember that's a political distinction that comes with the office

Happy President's Day!

I'm a little late with this but work's been nuts. Here's a little President's quotation game. Name the President quoted below and the movie/ television show the quote's from.
A couple of hints-
  • The President need not be real. He could be only the product of the fevered imagination of a screenwriter.
  • Hollywood likes to show the President doing more than sitting around or giving speeches. The quotes aren't limited to political dramas.
I'll post the answers in a couple of days.

1. Only when you've been in the deepest valley, can you ever know how magnificent it is on top of the highest mountain.

2. Leon, somewhere in Libya right now, a janitor's working the night shift at Libyan Intelligence headquarters. He's going about doing his job... because he has no idea, in about an hour he's going to die in a massive explosion. He's just going about his job, because he has no idea that about an hour ago I gave an order to have him killed. You've just seen me do the least presidential thing I do.

3. I saw... its thoughts. I saw what they're planning to do. They're like locusts. They're moving from planet to planet... their whole civilization. After they've consumed every natural resource they move on... and we're next. Nuke 'em. Let's nuke the bastards.

4. I like Grant, he takes what we give him, and he doesn't ask for the moon.

5. Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I have you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important because we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing: while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.

6. I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad.

7. Shhhh. We're keeping that on the QT. We're calling it "secret mission to go in and get the guys captured last time."

8. There is no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy; there is nothing good in war except it's ending.

9. Get off my plane!

10. The people will die regardless. But this duck still has a fighting chance.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?

My desktop per Swinebread's evil game. I took this picture of this famous Pearl District building.

Do you even know how to fly a plane?

Is the University of Oregon's hiring of bigshot Duck booster Pat Kilkenny at the AD position a stroke of genius or a boneheaded play to the monied Duck fans? I'd go with the latter.

Sure a good part of the AD's job is fundraising and Kilkenny's experience on the other side of that equation will probably help the U of O raise heretofore unheard of dollars and get that long dreamed of new basketball stadium built. But it's the other aspects of the job that Kilkenny lacks experience in that make me give the whole thing a thumbs down.

Athletic Directors have traditionally come from one of two sources: one of the head coaches at the university is promoted into the position or a successful AD is hired away from another university. Fat cat boosters usually don't make even the long list.

Since the decision was made by University President and former GOP gubernatorial candidate Dave Frohnmayer we shouldn't really be too surprised. This is a guy that belongs to political party that believes failed actors and failed businessmen are those most qualified to be the chief executive of this country. Why shouldn't we put someone from the business community in that position?

How hard could it be?

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I'm in "Hot Pursuit!"

Oregon lawmakers are apparently considering dueling bills to ban the use of cell phones while driving. Few of us haven't seen some bonehead driving poorly while putting on makeup, eating or talking on a cell and at first glance this would seem like a good idea. But here are a few points I think they need to keep in mind before they do this-

  • One of the reasons cell phones have come to become so popular is in response to the realities of life in 21st century America. We simply don't have much free time anymore, spending the majority of our time at work. As a result we try and squeeze more into less. I would like to see lawmakers address the fact we're able to spend less and less time at home or at leisure before they take up the cell phone issue.

  • We already have laws on the books covering speeding and reckless driving. Enforce 'em.

  • To expand on the point above: as a commuter the biggest threat I face daily is from those who go too slow or too fast for traffic. I would like to see those people ticketed.

  • Technology will soon make this issue moot. Bluetooth and voice recognition have advanced to the point where you won't have to use your hands at all to make a phone call in your car. Once this technology becomes widespread I don't see how the government can regulate it.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Doctor, I'd like to kiss you goodbye.

Swinebread comes out of the closet as a Planet of the Apes fan. I'll admit I'm in there with him.

What're we doing in that closet?

Picking ticks off each other and flinging poop at each other. What'd you think we were doing?

That, and enjoying the remarkable acting chops of one Charlton Heston.

The video Swinebread links to is pretty damned funny, particularly if you've seen the Simpsons bit it's riffing off before.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Hey, you! Don't look so perplexed. Why must you be vexed? Can't you see you're next? Yes, you're next, you're so next!

It's so very helpful of the Iranians to provide the Iraqi Shia insurgency with bombs factory stamped "MADE IN IRAN." It would've been difficult to gin up support for a war if they hadn't been so mind-numbingly stupid.

Those in the administration that want war with Iran couldn't have done a better job with the evidence for justification if they'd created it themselves.