How did you get to be the way you air anyhow? A-sittin' up here in this filthy hole?

A couple of quick things on the Sonics move to Oklahoma.

The first is that this isn't good for Portland. It relieves pressure on Paul Allen to provide a quality product with the Blazers. He's been rumored to want to move the team to Seattle for some time now. I'd hate to see Allen's commitment to turn the team around falter because of this.

The other thing is that Commissioner David Stern's warnings to Seattle that they better get their act together on a new arena if they hope to have a new team in Seattle are rubbing me the wrong way. I love sports and I know this sort of stuff happens all the time with professional teams putting pressure on municipalities but Stern's talking about public money.

Don't even get me started on how Stern allowed Sonic's owner Clay Bennett to simply go through the motions of trying to get the Sonics turned around so they could stay in Seattle when it was clear from the start Bennett wanted to move the team to Oklahoma. Seattle bears a bunch of the blame for the team moving but they also got a bit of the shaft from the league.

Oh well. Good luck to the Oklahoma Bisons or whatever the hell they wind up calling the Sonics. May you have better fortune in Soonerland. You'll need it.

Please sir, I want some more.

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/sports/13988527.htm

Blazers go begging

Poor, poor Paul Allen. His Portland Trail Blazers could lose $100 million in the next three years. His $21 billion fortune could be gone by 2636!

So of course Microsoft's No. 2 geek has his minions making noise about what they call the worst lease in the NBA, so much noise that Commissioner David Stern rushed to Portland this week. But not to talk with Allen about his habit of signing the likes of Zach Randolph and Darius Miles to grotesquely oversized contracts; no, he's meeting with civic leaders to see if they might have any spare change for Allen's hobby.

``Paul has been committed to the team for a long time, but we really need help here,'' spokesman Steve Crosby said. ``And Commissioner Stern laid it out nicely. We're looking at all options.''

How about, for a buck apiece, fans take the paddle and whack Allen as he says, ``Thank you, sir, may I have another!'' That should raise at least $4 million.

I'd pay more than a buck to take a whack at Allen. Probably the last straw for me is when they refused to put Clyde Drexler into the front office after he retired and were stingy about retiring his number.

Word is Allen wants to buy the Sonics. Good riddance to him and his pathetic management of a once great Portland institution.