Am I going MAD, or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.

My last post EVER on John McCain.

As McCain loses tomorrow there's going to be some wailing and gnashing of the teeth in Republican circles but what's going to be in short supply, especially as far the candidate is concerned, is a healthy dose of self-reflection.

McCain's going to blame the media, Acorn and even the moronic Sarah Palin (as if he had nothing to do with her being on the ticket) for his loss. The only person he won't be blaming is one John McCain. Arguably the person most responsible outside of Barack Obama.

If McCain really wants to know why his dream of being President plowed into the ground faster than one of those planes he used to pilot he need look no further than the mirror. Going back to well before the election even started or he tossed his hat in the ring.

The media had nothing to do with his regular support to George W. Bush and his capitulation on everything from torture to tax cuts. Acorn isn't responsible for the fact that McCain has been an Iraq war booster from the start. Barack Obama had nothing to do with McCain lack of temperament going back years when voters are looking for somebody a bit more... rational.

McCain will lose tomorrow because of choices he made not because of outside forces. He's a victim of nobody but himself.

He's too conservative for America.

Baby's fat. You fat... fat and juicy.

X-files reference to follow.

Mama Peacock says: "My sons and I support Maverick McCain."

They are so wrong. Godzilla should not be destroyed, he should be studied.

McCain says he and his campaign have Obama's campaign "just where we want them."

Custer: "Sitting Bull is in for the ass-kicking of a lifetime."

Lee: "Once General Longstreet quits whining he and his men should have no problem taking Cemetery Hill."

Montgomery: "Capturing these bridges from the Germans will be a snap."

Maginot: "My system of super-forts will stop any Nazi attack."

Moctezuema: "Cortes and his men will only be in town for a while."

You get the idea.

I think I must have one of those faces you can't help believing.

My thoughts on last night's debate-

At times McCain came across like some sort of manic, egomaniacal, beardless garden gnome.

If there was one thing we all could agree on after the last debate that would improve McCain's performance it would be body language. I haven't the slightest doubt that McCain recieved tons of advice to not let his disdain for Obama show on camera. McCain ignored that advice (or couldn't control himself) as he was a full on dick once again.

When the original Star Trek was on the air William Shatner used to get jealous of all the fan mail Leonard Nimoy was recieving. He devised little things to draw attention to himself while the camera was rolling. His strange, stilted speech pattern was one of those things. Another was to have his back turned to the camera when they materialized on the transporter and then spin around quickly. That's what John McCain's weird behavior reminded me of.

McCain was even working the refs during the debate. When Obama was speaking you could see McCain gesturing to Brokaw in the background trying to get Brokaw to cut Obama off. Keep it classy, John.

One of the commentators on CBS after the debate said McCain "moved stiffly" around the stage. I believe the correct word is "doddered."

We often posit that people who are still undecided at this stage of the game are dumbasses. After listening to the comments of of the panel of regular undecided voters on CBS I would have to say we're underestimating their dumbassery. Morons, the lot of 'em.

Obama looked, acted and felt like the President of the United States.

Ever wonder why fund managers can't beat the S&P 500? 'Cause they're sheep, and sheep get slaughtered.

I can't wish you a happy Friday today. Sorry.

The $700 billion deal has hit a roadblock with the House Republican caucus with the support of John McCain.

In all honesty I have no idea whether the plan was necessary or not. I'm not an economist or a Wall Street financier, nor do I have a Palinesque mutant ability to learn things via proximity and osmosis.

My progressive side tells me the deal was crap. Congressional Democrats - who on paper would be the ones that should have been dictating this process rather than the White House - appeared to have been rolled again with only token nods to accountability.

But the one thing I'm certain is that I don't even have to like this plan to be furious that John McCain injected Presidential politics into this process. In doing so he has signaled more clearly than ever that his ambition is more important than the future of this country.

The President gave a "the sky is falling" speech this week. Washington Mutual collapsed last night. The market is going to tank today. I resent that McCain is playing games with my future. He is not more important than the millions of Americans he's screwing over here.

When I vote for Obama next month (vote by mail) I'm going to be doing it for all sorts of reasons including the oblique push towards "hope." I'm not ashamed to say there will be a part of me that will be considering that vote a giant middle finger towards McCain, his party and everything they represent.

Screw them.

Okay, I'll shut up. Some fellas have to keep their tongues flappin' but not me.

Fine. Send Palin in his place.

That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard! That's totally non-sequitary!

I started this a while ago but decided I better rush to finish it since the POW thing's getting played out.

As before please feel free to share if you enjoy the thing.

Apologies in advance that the voice work isn't as good as last time. :-)

That's okay Mikey. You and your brother are back with your mother and I. That makes us the richest people in Astoria.

McCain:

“I define rich in other ways besides income,” he said. “Some people are wealthy and rich in their lives and their children and their ability to educate them. Others are poor if they’re billionaires.”

Man, you are too square. I'll have to straighten you out. Now, listen, you don't go any one special place. That's cornball style. You just go.

Via Brad at Sadly, No we take this wonderful dip into the pool of lunacy that is Peggy Noonan:

"As for Mr. McCain, I think he had the best moment of the month this week at the big motorcycle convention in Sturgis, S.D., when he was greeted with that mighty roar. And his great line: "As you may know, not long ago a couple hundred thousand Berliners made a lot of noise for my opponent. I'll take the roar of 50,000 Harleys any day." Oh, that was good. "

For me the saddest thing about McCain at that Harley rally was the realization that riding a 1200cc motorcycle is no longer the ultimate act of sticking it to the man. Those weren't freedom-loving rebels in South Dakota who had spent their lives in and out of prison, covered in tats and scars where some badass shoved a broken bottle through their gut.

These were whitebread Republicans, accountants and office managers, playing at being rebels. Those guys revving their motorcycles while McCain babbled senselessly are nothing more than weekend warriors, no different than SCAers or Civil War re-enactors. Little kids playing dress up. (*)

The guys that made up the Hell's Angels of the 60s and 70s, the gang that famously acted as security for the Rolling Stones only to knife one of their fans to death, wouldn't be caught dead cheering like that for a politician of either party. For those guys politics was part of the establishment and the establishment was not to be trusted.

Even if those rebel bikers decided that there was something to be had through political involvement I can't imagine for a second that they wouldn't see right through the faux-machismo and chest-puffing represented by the current leadership of the Republican party. Men like George Bush, Dick Cheney or the John McCain of today wouldn't survive five minutes of the sort of hazing bike gangs regularly employee on new members. Those effeminate poseurs in their $500 dollar loafers would faint outright.

Sorry, Peggy. There was nothing special about McCain inviting himself to that biker rally and hitting a cord. Most of the people at that rally pretend rebels. Just like John McCain.

(*That is NOT to say that SCAers are little kids. Some of my best friends like to don armor and joust.)

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here!

For the last month or so the local radio stations have been playing an advertisement for Schuck's Auto Supply which mention that a good way to save gas would be to make sure you aren't carrying around junk in your trunk and that your tires are at the correct pressure. Sensible suggestions to most normal people on the planet who don't live daily suffering from the dreaded effects of Cranial Posterior Immersion.

This weekend the McCain campaign collectively mocked Barack Obama's recent suggestion that consumers do the same. McCain surrogates went so far as to carry tire gauges into interviews as props, claiming that demonstrates the sum total of Obama's energy policy.

This is part of the reason many of us work hard to try and avoid news of politics these days. If the presidential primary was largely made up of "silly season" then the general election has swung fully into "stupid season." Fueled mostly by the coordinated strategy of Republican political strategists working for McCain and a drooling, moronic media that continues to simply let them get away with the most outrageous bullshit imaginable.

In a sane world somebody like McCain supporter Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty would whip out tire gauge during an interview and claim this was Obama's energy policy the reporter would burst into laughter, turn off the mike and shut of the camera and tell Pawlenty to take a hike until he wanted to give an interview that wasn't composed of childish talking points.

This is what I let drive up my blood pressure. Not that these boneheads push this stupid crap but that the media doesn't call them on it. It's infuriating because it's a challenge to the very concept of objective reality, not objectivity.

Conservatives try an innoculate themselves from being called on this crap by trying to make it sound like those of us grounded in objective reality are elitist. It's considered bad form to call conservatives stupid or dumb.

Fuck that. Conservatives that repeat this stuff are slope-browed, mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging morons. They're idiots who add absolutely nothing, zip, nada to the discourse. In fact---
Conservatives are so dumb they got hit by a parked car.

Conservatives are so dumb they tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.

Conservatives are so dumb they tripped over a cordless phone.

Conservatives are so dumb they got locked out of a motorcycle.

Conservatives are so dumb I told them drinks were on the house and they went and grabbed a ladder.

Conservatives are so dumb they think Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

Whew. I feel a little better.

You know, there's only been one man in my whole life who's ever made me happy. Do you know that?

Just a quick observation on the state of the presidential race even though I'm trying hard to avoid political news.

I did see some of the coverage of Obama's trip overseas, McCain's sniping at same and the media's reaction to all of that and all I can say is that I am now convinced that Barack Obama should not under any circumstances debate John McCain.

Don't get me wrong. Barack Obama is light years more intelligent than John McCain. He understands the issues backwards and forwards. If it was just you, I and these guys sitting down at a kitchen table and discussing issues Barack would wipe the table the geezer.

No, the problem isn't Barack Obama. The problem is the media. Specifically the media's interest in changing the narrative of the presidential race as it's developed to this point. A narrative that favors Obama, despite their best efforts to keep the race close.

The media is looking for any opening to roll out the "McCain is the Comeback Kid" stories they've had saved on their laptops since the general election began. The conventions and debates are going to provide opportunities for that. The actual results of both won't be important. What's important is that the media will be able to seize on any small circumstance of either, magnify it and twist it into something greater and push hard to put John McCain back in this race.

It's not like anything substantive is discussed in the debates anymore anyway. Obama should just say no.

I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me me.

Josh Marshall catches John McCain fitting himself for a halo with this campaign poster...

Josh doesn't know the half of it. I called a former Faber alumni who now works on the McCain campaign and he was able to slip me these earlier drafts of the photo in used that poster...

The McCainiacs nixed that last one because they felt it came too close to claiming McCain was actually God. McCain knows God, of course. They went to high school together. McCain was a sophomore when God was a senior.

Also- what's with the "Peace Is Born Of Wisdom" logo? McCain has demonstrated a propensity neither in his political career.

Ramrod, wreckage and ruin, still the same Kirby York.

If you're like me and enjoy a good chuckle at the inanity of right-winger raving but the fast pace of summer vacation is keeping you from being able to keep up with the actual words separating the froth and spittle then this post is for you.

First up we have these Fox News fans taking up the McCain campaign's whiny lament that the New York Times wouldn't print McCain's response to Obama's recent foreign policy op ed in that paper. I'm as stunned as they are. McCain's editorial which began "Barack Hussein Obama is a terrorist-loving ruffian who won't get off my lawn" is usually the sort of thing that looks right at home in the Times.

The best response to this outrage in my opinion? It would have to be Kathy wingnuttery--

This is what happens when news information is controlled by liberalsocialists.Instead of engaging another point of view, they shut down anyone who doesn’t fittheir social and political agendas. Besides, hardly anybody reads NYT anymore.NYT is going bankrupt. There are many other media outlets that McCain can tap into and grab bigger audience.

Of course that's closely followed by Frieda's fine assessment of the situation--

Like this is new. The American public has known of the complete bias for a longtime. We don’t even get a chance to hear all of Sen. McCain’s speeches or town
hall meetings. And we would like to.

If you're going to pretend that you're some man on the street and really aren't on the McCain campaign payroll you really should avoid using obvious tells that scream "shill." Nobody, but nobody wants to "hear all of Sen. McCain's speeches." That includes his most ardent supporters.

Along those lines "The Dark Knight" came out this weekend and, for those of you living under a rock, I'm told it did quite well. Not everybody is a fan of Heath Ledger's incredible portrayal of the Joker or the film's mediations on our post 9/11 society.

Take the commenter igroveman over at Slash Films who took issue with a review that site did of the movie which noted the political themes. No really; take him. I don't want the guy.

igroveman Says:
July 20th, 2008 at 9:47 am

Very “moralistic” of you in the third paragraph, but it’s very unpatriotic and sounds somewhat blind to refer to “atrocities and miscarriages of justice around the world” as if they are something our country is doing.

Give it some background by first looking up the word “atrocity” in the dictionary, then the encyclopedia as you gain a history of this word and realize it actually does depend on context, motive, and goals.

What’s so amazing to me is how our country had one of the biggest atrocities committed against it, but rather than stand by our country, all our weak-kneed country-men can do is wax keen on imaginary dictatorships and so-called injustices.

This is even sillier against the backdrop of any comic story, including Batman, which accepts and even encourages the idea that absolute retribution enacted through violence is well desired, and even oftentimes absolutely necessary.

More Americans need to put their mouths where their heart is, or their mind where the mouth is, so their heart can change.

Igroveman knows that people have their mouth and eyes mixed up, or their eyes with their mouth or something and that needs to change. Personally I think igrove has his head and his ass mixed up, or at least conjoined. This is why the more conservative among us shouldn't do art. They just don't get it.

Of course who can blame them for being unable to understand fictional works when their own leaders have trouble with reality? Take this new McCain ad which blames high gas prices on Barack Obama. Not the democratic party. Not liberal economic policies. Arguments that are breathtakingly stupid in their own right but at least have one foot on the ground. Nope. The reason we're paying $4.25+ a gallon at the pump is because of the nefarious plotting of a first-term Senator from Illinois.

The Ad: (Narrator:) Gas prices -- four dollars, five dollars, no end in sight, because some in Washington are still saying no to drilling in America. No to independence from foreign oil. Who can you thank for rising prices at the pump?

(Chant:) Obama, Obama.

(Narrator:) One man knows we must now drill more in America and rescue our family budgets. Don't hope for more energy, vote for it. McCain.

You know your ad has to be bloody stupid when Howard "the putz" Kurtz calls you on how much bullshit is contained in same.

OK, you can owe me.

Headlines that work better without the colon, this time from CNN- McCain: Spending is out of Control.

Brilliance. That's all I can say. Sheer, unadulterated brilliance!

From the media uproar at General Clark's comments it's apparent that the media actually agree that getting shot down in a fighter jet does qualify one to be President.

I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that that the media assume great failure to be a leadership criteria. This is the same media that hoisted not one, but two Bush presidencies upon us. Nobody else demonstrates the theory of "failing upwards" to a greater degree than George W. Bush.

With this in mind here are some of the other things that qualify somebody to hold the highest office in the land--

Getting run over by a garbage truck while crossing the street.

Tripping and falling down a flight of stairs.

Marrying and then divorcing Madonna.

Getting beaten and mugged my a street gang dressed as baseball players.

Leading an attack on a Lakota settlement along the Little Bighorn river.

As I think about failure as leadership I'm able to narrow our choices down to three candidates. John McCain doesn't make this list but he is in the top 10.

Wile E. Coyote

Curly Howard

Captain Edward J. Smith

You're despicable.

Yesterday the despicable John McCain attacked Barack Obama for supporting Jim Webb's G.I. Bill.

There could be many reasons outside of the obvious political reasons for McCain's actions around this bill and his refusal to support it.

Matt Yglesias points out that even if you take McCain at his word that his stance against increased benefits for veterans it doesn't look good for the aging Senator. He's he either against expansion of benefits because they cost too much (a position that doesn't fit with his regular support of pouring money into the bottomless pit that is the Iraq war) or he's against expansion of benefits because he truly believes it will hurt retention in the armed forces. In other words his dream of 100 years in Iraq will be threatened.

In either case how does McCain not come off as anything other than a batshiat crazy jerk here?

You using the whole fist, Doc?

I hope Lieberman made sure his hand was warm first.

“I just want to report that this morning I personally checked John McCain's bearings. He has not lost any of them," said the white-haired Connecticut senator. "They are all in really great shape."

I've never had anything to say about that long-winded jackanapes, but he sure does know a way how to start a war.

McCain Asserts Iraq Withdrawal Could Mean Civil War.

McCain Asserts Allied Invasion of Normandy Could Mean World War 2.

McCain Asserts Ending Sex Will Prevent Pregnant Woman From Giving Birth.

McCain Asserts Closing Barn Door Could Prevent Yesterday's Escaped Horse.

You get the idea.

Little girls shouldn't look for four leaf clovers.

Democratic congressman just never seem to get it. Various elected democrats includingPatrick Leahy and Dianne Feinstein have criticized John McCain for his campaign stop in Iraq this week.

Anytime McCain wants to highlight Iraq he's welcome to. Not only does it confirm his horrible judgement in supporting the war but it demonstrates he clearly doesn't meet the magical "Commander In Chief Threshold" that we've recently heard so much about. A Republican that thinks standing on George W. Bush's stellar record in Iraq is a positive is clearly living in la-la land.

A McCain visit to Iraq with toady Joe Lieberman in tow is a net plus to the Democratic candidate. We shouldn't be bitching about it. We should be encouraging more of the same.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to darkest Hollywood.

As the two Democratic candidates for the presidency continue to be the living crap out of each other I find myself wanting to abuse John McCain as much as possible. It's some sort of weird psychological projection thing I must have going.

The video below is something I put together this week. It's my first try at something like this and was obviously inspired by Randal Graves and Dr. Zaius posts of late. The multi-talented Overdroid was kind enough to donate his vocal talents which is pretty cool considering he usually gets paid for that sort of thing.

If you enjoy this please feel free to embed it on your own site or share it as much as possible. I'd like for more people to see the damned thing. If you don't like it -- well, the world needs ditchdiggers too. I'm not sure why that quote is justified here but it just is. Nyah!