Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid.

So much going on today!

Reporting from London -- If history records a sudden surge in carbon emissions on Wednesday, it may be due to the collective exhalation of relief and joy by the hundreds of millions -- perhaps billions -- of people around the globe who watched, waited and prayed for Barack Obama to be elected president of the United States.

Gordo goes down in flames. It's about time. There've been a number of letters to the editor of the local paper from Eastern Oregon whining that, if the state elects two Democratic Senators they won't be represented. To this I simply say "STFU and sit down." 1) If Gordon Smith had been a real Republican moderate in the mold of Bob Packwood or Tom McCall he would've been Senator for life and 2) In Texas over 2 million people voted for challenger Rick Noriega in his unsuccessful bid to defeat John Cornyn. Those 2 million people have no representation in the U.S. Senate by this weird logic.

As far as I'm concerned the far right has had more than enough representation in the nation's capital these last twenty years.

"Jurassic Park" author Michael Crichton is dead. I've enjoyed a lot of his earlier work but his recent cranky pseudo-scientific scepticism towards the concept of human activity contributing to global warming has caused me to question his greatness as a sci-fi writer.

Not to toot my own horn too much but in a fake article from the future I wrote back on October 10th I had this: A state-by-state breakdown of those returns gave the President-elect more than 345 electoral votes, a commanding victory in the Electoral College, which requires 270 for election. His victory included states such as North Carolina and Virginia given to choosing Republican candidates in the last several Presidential elections.

I should buy a lottery ticket.

Ubermilf and randal graves have posts that riff off of "Caddyshack" and "Animal House" respectively. I've seen that latter film a couple of times...

These four photos say everything about the election.

It is he who commands you! It is he who flung you from the gates of Heaven to the depths of Hell!

Just in case anybody is interested here's how I voted on the important stuff---

President: Are you kidding?

U.S. Senator: There are lots of reasons to despise sometimes-moderate Gordon Smith but in my own estimation Gordo showed he was unfit for office years ago when he voted to impeach President Clinton over a peccadillo. I proudly voted for Jeff Merkley.

A couple of ballot intititives I support---

Measure 54: (Voter Eligibility) Fixes a portion of the Oregon Constitution that says voters need to be 21-years old and pass a literacy test. We'll have no literate voters here.

Measure 56: (Kills Double Majority) I've hated the double majority measure which voters put in place in 1996. Essentially it's one of those deals where over 50% of registered voters have to vote for any property tax to pass, regardless of whether it pulls a majority of votes. 1) Non-voters shouldn't get as much of a say as actual voters and 2) Vote by mail has made the original arguments for the double majority obsolete.

A measure I was sympathetic to but voted against---

Measure 65: (Open Primaries) The measure opens primaries up to all registered voters regardless of primaries with the top two vote-getters going to the general. This was a tough one but I do think this opens the primaries up to a lot of mischief that will hurt moderate-leftists more than those on the other side. I would like to see instant runoff voting instead. Having said all that I can see why progressives are voting for the measure, I'm just worried about the consequences.

Most of the other measures are the typical anti-state government nonsense that wind up on the ballot every election. Every state seems to have a resident loon who makes a living getting these things on the ballot. In Oregon that loon is Bill Sizemore. I will never vote for a Bill Sizemore inititive. He makes that declaration easy by throwing the worst sort of crap on our ballots.

No on measures 57,58,59,60,61,62,63 and 64.

Happy election everybody!

We'll begin with a reign of terror, a few murders here and there, murders of great men, murders of little men, just to show we make no distinction!

While we were enjoying the beauty of the Oregon coast the jackasses that call themselves the Editorial Board at the state's one and only news daily the Oregonian were embarrassing themselves again by endorsing Gordon Smith's re-election to the U.S. Senate for a third term.

I assume this goes to the Oregonian's continued warped sense of "balance" since they had endorsed Barack Obama the day before. Objectivity requires splitting the baby right down the middle. They have readers in the blue and the red part of the state after all. Except they really don't...

Like most states Oregon has concentrated population areas around big cities surrounded by larger tracts of rural, sparsely populated counties and towns. The urban area of Oregon stretches down through the Willamette Valley from Portland to Eugene. This is the area of the state viewed with derision by many rural Oregonians because it's generally more progressive and tends to favor Democrats. It also happens to be the area where the bulk of the Oregonian's readership resides.

When the Oregonian pulls one of these bone-headed stunts such as endorsing George W. Bush over Al Gore or, more recently, publishing the anti-Islamic "Obsession" video and now endorsing Smith they're directly insulting their readers. They're saying to their readers that those that run the paper are smarter than those that pay to read it.

What business can survive by insulting it's customers in such a direct manner and on such a regular basis? If you went to a deli where you were told you couldn't have the tuna because "people who eat tuna are morons" would you go back to that place?

As the readership of the Oregonian continues to decline I'm sure they'll have all sorts of excuses as to what's killing their business. They'll blame the rise of cable/ satellite. They'll finger the Internet. They'll claim it's the rise of progressive partisanship made it impossible to sell papers.

The answer will be much simpler. They simply aren't catering to their customers.

Trust me, Wilbur. People are very gullible. They'll believe anything they see in print.

Oregon (pronounced Ore-gun, btw) has a proud tradition of independent-minded politicians who won't allow party identification to sway their votes on the issues.

From Democratic Senator Wayne Morse who was only one of two votes against the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution to Republican Governor Tom McCall who was instrumental in pushing Oregon's innovative land-use policies, public beach access and other environmental measures, this state's most revered politicians are those they strike out on their own and follow their own conscience.

So it's not surprising that Republican Senator Gordon Smith has decided to pose as an independent for his re-election. Even in a year in which the tide wasn't pushing so strongly towards Democrats, Gordo would still be trying to pretend he was some sort of maverick that regularly worked across the aisle rather than the Bush-toady that he is.

Smith took to heart the most important lesson of the Bush presidency that in this era of postmodern politics words speak louder than actions. Thus a fiercely partisan Senator like himself could portray himself as a moderate though he voted with his party and the President on practically every issue, supported every one of that president's nominations to the court and even for the impeachment of president Clinton. One's man's moderate is another man's political hack.

Smith's made national news for a couple of campaign ads he's run recently. In the first former Democratic congresswoman Elizabeth Furse claims Smith was "one of the first in congress to stand up to George Bush on the Iraq war." A claim belied by the fact that it took the Republican hammering in the 2006 election for Smith to "See the light" on Iraq. Up to that point he was a reliable pro-war vote in the Senate.

His most recent ad which just began airing is almost more audacious in a sense in that it implies that Smith, the campaign chair in Oregon for John McCain's campaign, is endorsed for his re-election by none other than Barack Obama. Here's the ad--



Congressman Earl Blumenauer (my favorite bow tie wearing pol at the moment) released this response to Smith's silliness--



Personally, I'm enjoying all of the national attention this is getting. Smith may have tried painting the pig that is his voting record one to many times. Oregon voters aren't buying it this time around. We can hear the oinking.

To make a living people do many things God doesn't do.

I'm just going to do post covering all the stuff that's been on my mind and "clear the decks" in in a sense.

WEASELS - We were never going to win on FISA. If you think about it it's been Democrats that have allowed this to come close to passage each time until the netroots screamed bloody murder. I don't have a shadow of a doubt that party leaders decided after the last go round to spike it until the presidential primaries were over in order to give whomever our nominee was cover. Disgusting.

ET TU, BARACK? - A professor of constitutional law that doesn't understand the constitutionality of ex post facto law. It feels so great to see him trying to hide behind the skirts of the Dodd amendment to pull retroactive immunity. The chances of that passing are about as good as me flapping my wings and flying. Filibuster or die Mr. Obama.

DEVIL'S BARGAIN - With FISA in mind we get to vote for the President that will appall us regularly in the tradition of George W. Bush or the President that will disappoint us regularly in the tradition of Bill Clinton. Yay democracy!

THIS LITTLE PIGGY - Swinebread has outed himself as a looming papa. I know Mr. and Mrs. Swinebread in real life and I can tell you that little boy (they know) is going to have GREAT parents. Can't wait to meet the little bugger.

PALACE COUP AT FABER - Overdroid took advantage of the fact I was on vacation to utilize his long forgotten administrative rights to throw a wild Tom Tommorrow party at my blog. Lucky for me the damage was minimized when Overdroid got a spur of the moment job teaching improv to trial lawyers at Pepperdine at an event hosted by the infamous Ken Starr. I am not making that up.

LIKE A PACK OF WILD DINGOS - Ever watched one of those nature programs where a pack of dogs take down a gazelle? That's sort of what Franiam does with James Dobson. She doesn't even leave enough meat on the bones for the jackals.

SEVEN DIRTY WORDS - I have little to add to all the great eulogies of George Carlin but I admired the guy for the simple fact that he lived by nobodies rules but his own. He didn't broker bullshit and he didn't suffer fools. He'll be missed greatly.

TOLD YOU SO - Don Imus is a racist. Anybody with half a brain that listened to his show could tell you that. People with half a brain don't listen to his show so there you are.

IS HE PLUGGED IN? - I'm surprised John McCain is offering a prize for car battery. If anything I see him hoping they develop a better battery for pacemakers.

GOOD NORTHWEST POL - Oregon Representative Peter DeFazio has reintroduced his windfall profits tax on the oil industry bill. Among other things his bill would allow oil companies to avoid the tax if they spent some of any windfall profit on researching alternative energy sources or increasing refining capacity. It would also ban the export of any oil obtained on U.S. soil. Naturally the oil companies are against his bill.

BAD NORTHWEST POL - Washington state congressman Brian Baird who I listened to in an interview this morning. Among other acts of wankery he completely ignored a caller's point on FISA that the domestic spying had begun before 9/11 and argued that the surge was a success. Vancouver dems do us a favor and get rid of that asshole.

WORSTEST NORTHWEST POL- Senator Gordon Smith is a lying asshole. Smith says he's "one of the first to stand up to George Bush and other Republicans to end this war." Yeah, four years after the fact when he grew a spine. Shame on you Elizabeth Furse for going along with this crap.

I DID NOT KNOW THAT - Liberality hates flooding and rap music. If you rap about flooding she'll probably punch you in the face.

HELTER SKELTER- Joe the Troll wonders if Charles Manson associate Susan Adkins deserves freedom because she has six months to live. Only if she carves a little peace sign into her forehead.

COOL! - If I use a list of links to link to a dr. zaius list of links will it collapse the universe? I hope so.

I told you I had a lot on my mind.

You expect me to talk when all I could preserve is my own measly, worthless life? TOO BLOODY RIGHT, I'LL TALK! I'll talk, I'll talk.

Here's a wacky suggestion for Jeff Kosseff from the Oregonian- when your doing a story about what Oregon voters are telling them about Iraq as they tour the state on their August recess you just might want to actually go to some of these events rather than ask the politicians what they're hearing.

"Iraq is playing a prominent role in meetings that Oregon's representatives and senators have in Oregon during this month's congressional recess. Though recesses traditionally have been a time for members of Congress to connect with constituents on a wide variety of issues, this month's recess has a uniquely strong focus on the future of the Iraq war.

Next month, Gen. David Petraeus will deliver a report on progress in Iraq. Democrats and some Republicans say the report could create a turning point in congressional support of the war, possibly causing enough Republicans to break with the Bush administration to support a withdrawal of troops.

"This is one of the most crucial periods in this whole debate," said Sen. Ron Wyden, D-Ore.As he normally does during recesses, Wyden is holding three town hall meetings this week. But unlike his usual practice of addressing all current issues, Wyden is focusing the meetings on Iraq.

"It seemed very important to give Oregonians a chance to weigh in going into the debate," Wyden said. "I know a lot of folks want to talk about immigration and health care and the like, but this is going to be an opportunity to make sure Oregonians' voices are heard."

Sen. Gordon Smith said Iraq was among the top issues in his conversations with people at county fairs last week. "There's a heightened expectation," said Smith, who voted to authorize the war in 2002, but in December publicly criticized Bush's Iraq policy. Since then, Smith has advocated redeploying troops. "Wisely or not, General Petraeus and the president have created an expectation that there will be an evaluation and a way forward that shows us a way home sooner than later. "

There's a bit in there from Republican Greg Walden where he says voters wan't the troops home but want the exit strategy to be "done properly." Sure. That would be a damnsight better than how you and your President but those boys over there to begin with.

Take off, hoser.

Dear Gordo,

Buh-bye.

Signed,

Oregonians Tired of Our Fopish Moderate-Wannabe Senator.

When you do that Frankie, you're enemies don't respect you. You got no friends no more. You got nobody, Frankie.

Some comments on local stuff-

* There have been a ton of articles about the construction going on downtown but they don't come close to covering what a FUBARED mess planners have made out of the core. Bridges closed for construction, major roads down to one lane - it is a complete disaster and more that a little bit of a pain in the ass to those of us who work nearby. I literally took 45 minutes to get out of downtown last Friday and THAT was after planning a strategic route out of the city. Yuck.

* It looks like Gordo is in trouble in the polls with voters not buying his "I'm a moderate" bullshit. Check out Michelle Neumann's takedown of the Junior Senator from Oregon at the linked article. As a reminder - Gordo spent a lot of time in the last Presidential election calling John Kerry a waffler, particulary in regards to the war. Live by the bullshit soundbite, die by the bullshit soundbite I say. I'm going to permalink StopGordonSmith so you ought to check it out.

* I predicted Greg Oden would be a bust but even I'm surprised at how quickly I turned out be right. How many NBA players were able to stage a comeback after major tonsil surgery? I could count them on one hand.

Boy, am I a victim of disappointment in you.

It was nice of the Big O to publish an editorial yesterday begging somebody of the stature of Earl Blumenauer or Peter Defazio to run against Gordon Smith but this bit rang a little hollow-

Of course, we're not prepared to endorse any potential challenger, nor have we reached any conclusions about Smith's re-election. But Oregon does not need another one of those incumbent coronations that are so common here and elsewhere. What we want to see is a great race, with two (or more) talented, well-funded candidates going all-out for Oregon's highest elected office.

Does anyone doubt that The Oregonian will be endorsing Smith again in the next general election no matter who his Democratic challenger is? This is the newspaper that just the day before ran an editorial slamming Pelosi for her trip to Syria that would've been right at home in the pages of the Washington Post. Their editorial board isn't exactly the font of common sense.

Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly!

Err, I don't see this.

The House has already passed legislation requiring troops to be withdrawn by Sept. 1, 2008. The Senate vote assured that the Democratic-controlled Congress would send Bush legislation later this spring that calls for a change in war policy. A veto is a certainty, presuming the president follows through.

That would put the onus back on the Democrats, who would have to decide how long they wanted to extend the test of wills in the face of what are likely to be increasingly urgent statements from the administration that the money is needed for troops in the war zone.

Democrats just won an election largely on the basis that they would change course on Iraq. The President won't just be vetoing legislation, he'll be going against the will of most of the country that his failed war be brought to an end.

I'm sure there are people around Bush that are blowing smoke up his butt and playing to his short guy syndrome but the American people won't be as easily dazzled by bullshit this time around. Add to that the large number of Republican Senators up for re-election and I think it's fair to say that a funding crisis would largely put the onus on Bush and the Republican party to join the rest of America on this issue.

(I see Gordo voted with the angels on this one. I don't care. If this weren't an election cycle I haven't the slightest doubt he'd be on the other side. When it comes to principle he's the exact opposite of the principled tradition of Oregon Senators and no heir to Mark Hatfield.)

The seeds of our destiny are nurtured by the roots of our past.

If you have a minute for a little real world action then please call Peter Defazio's office and put your chit in for him to run against Gordo next year. He might not be as strong a candidate as Kitzhaber but he's got a real chance of making Oregon blue.

Defazio's Oregon office: 1-800-944-9603

Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.

Brave Sir Gordo turns and runs away. What a profile in courage.

WASHINGTON -- In a Senate floor speech last month, Oregon Sen. Gordon Smith broke his long support for the Iraq war and called it "absurd." He also says he opposes President Bush's plans to increase the number of troops in Iraq.

But the Republican senator says he isn't sure how he might vote on bills to bring the troops home.

Come a-runnin'? I'm no woman to be honked at and come a-runnin'!

Let's hope the Oregon Democrats can convince a strong candidate to run against Gordo but for the moment it doesn't look so good. I'm going to be personally dissapointed if John Kitzhaber doesn't change his mind about running since the guy would beat Smith hand's down.

Kitzahber repeatedly opts out of running for the senate claiming he wants to raise his family in Oregon not D.C. Family schamily this is politics. It's IMPORTANT.

No, you don't look like you're up to something, but whenever you look like you're not up to ANYTHING, you're up to something.

Via Atrios I see Gordo's jumping the Iraq war ship.

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- In an emotional speech on the Senate floor Thursday night, Sen Gordon Smith, a moderate Republican from Oregon who has been a supporter of the war in Iraq, said the U.S. military's "tactics have failed" and he "cannot support that anymore."

Smith said he is at, "the end of my rope when it comes to supporting a policy that has our soldiers patrolling the same streets in the same way, being blown up the same bombs, day after day."

That is absurd," he said. "It may even be criminal."

There are few things in life that are as predictably regular as Gordon Smith's "I'm really a moderate" act he puts on every cycle he's up for re-election. Change of heart? Hardly. It's just time for a conservative politician who voted for Bush's tax cuts, the Iraq war and to convict President Clinton after his impeachment, to start pretending he represents the mainstream views held by his constituents.

Gordo: it ain't gonna work this time. Come 08 it's back to pea-farming for you, bud.