Monday, May 18, 2009

You must chill. You must chill.

Still around. Just busy.

If you haven't been exposed to the creepy story of Ben the Stalker, AKA "Douche Quadbike" then you've missed a "Chocolate Rain" level internet meme.

Ben "didn't understand" why his girlfriend Loren left him two years ago so he spent nine months making a video to win her back... or something. It's not really clear what he's trying to do with this video other than prove he's a muscular, self-centered moron who is in love with his own ass. And Loren... or something.

Also thrown into the mix- Ben mentions fundraising to fight cancer at the end and that one of the reasons he did this video was to audition for the role of Captain America in the upcoming Hollywood movie.

Here's the video-

A bunch of guys over at got a look at that and realized that Ben was a grade-A psycho and must be dealt with in the time honored web way of dealing with such people- mocked with a Youtube video. Actually several videos.

The best parody video was made by a guy named Sanchez, who wrote a hysterical song about Ben set to images from his own film. What followed were threats by Ben to have him arrested, deported, turned over homeland security or Ben would "take justice into his own hands." Here's the Cracked forum thing detailing the whole sad affair.

Here's a techno remix of Sanchez's original song that's pretty good.

On a serious note I was really, really disturbed by the original link to Ben's video and the thousands of comments in reply which are mostly supportive of his quest to win his ex-girlfriend back. We joke about the fact that Ben is a few eggs short of an omelet, but I don't doubt for a second that there's a restraining order underneath all of this. That so many people take Ben's original video as something sweet is depressing.


ladybug said...

Jeebus! Imagine if this creep was stalking your/my daughter and "became an internet meme"

Warhol & his 15 mins of fame....scarily real in our world...

I think Ben may have found out being (in)famous isn't what it's cracked up to be...or maybe he did (even freakier)!

Don Snabulus said...

I disagree. I think think Ben really gets what women like. They like 4 wheelers, peeling out in pickup trucks, men in filthy jeans, and (I can't stress this enough) handmade flags with their name painted on them.

Am I wrong? Women are all about the ATVs aren't they?

Lockwood said...

OK, I got to about the 2:50 mark and couldn't take any more. Tom Lehr commented in an interview a few years back that th reason he quit doing satire and parody was that the world as a whole had become satire. This guy would be funny if he had intended this as parody, if there was the tiniest bit of tongue-in-cheek. But seriously?

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little...

Ubermilf said...

Lockwood, you quit too early. The best part is the end, when he admits it's been TWO YEARS since he'd seen that poor woman. I hope she's hiding somewhere safe.

Samuel John Klein said...

YouTube: Taking creepy, obsessed stalking to a 'whole. novvah. level.

I have stared into the abyss once too often. Thanks to that video, I'm now either diabetic or an existentialist.

Never mind a restraining order. Loren had better have gone into the witness protection program.

Never ever let this man into the armed forces, or into anything having to do with law enforcement. Please.

Ubermilf said...

I've also read the comments directed at Sanchez.

Does he actually believe he has a team of lawyers? I don't know what's scarier -- he's knowingly faking, or he really believes.

I was on page 7 or 8 of the comments; I think I'll skip ahead to page 48 to see how it ends.

Randal Graves said...

Nope, nothing homoerotic about that video. Good luck, closeted Republican guy (I have no idea of he is or not, but at least, he's a grade-A loon).

Dean Wormer said...


No kidding. One of the problems as I see it is he got a lot of encouragement right out of the gate from youtube knuckleheads who thought it was sweet. It's not sweet, it's messed up.

Man I hope that ex-girlfriend is safe somewhere.


Ha! Don't women also enjoy men whose trucks break down?


It is painful to watch. For it to be satire it would've had to have been created by a savant. I don't think it's satire.


When I was reading up on this I read somewhere that she was hiding with family and didn't want him to know where she was.



Thanks to that video, I'm now either diabetic or an existentialist.Heh heh.

I would bet the guy doesn't have a real job as that would get in the way of his taking roids and lifting stuff full time.


Yeah, reading through that thread at Cracked I actually got scared for Sanchez. He made a parody video of a very scary individual.


Did you watch the techno remix above? It's pretty funny but the ending is classic.

mwb said...

Wait real life isn't like bad romantic comedies? That just explains so much.