Friday, June 08, 2007

I'm sorry you're stupid.

Via Kos her's a link to an article describing one scientist's tour of the Creation Museum. Be sure to check out the pictures of the Velociraptor enjoying the company of Eve (wearing a baptismal dress apparently) or the Triceratops with the saddle (the producers of Dinotopia ought to sue.)

The whole thing seems to have a Disney/ theme park vibe to it which is appropriate considering both the world of Disney and the ideas of creationists are both grounded in fantasy. That brings to mind just a couple of ideas for attractions-

Devolution Revolution - Basically the teacups ride but instead of cups you're in baptismal fonts. You spin and spin until you're so dizzy that creationism actually makes sense.

Darwin's Monkey Island of Doom - Populated by all the strange creatures that truly would have come into existence had evolution been real. Dogs with opposable thumbs that would allow them to open the fridge, chickens with necks made out of solid steel so they wouldn't wind up on the dinner table and men with infrared vision that would allow them to see women's underwear would all terrorize the visitors to this island.

Dig Your Own Grand Canyon - For the wee ones. Dig your own 18 mile wide canyon in a sandbox with only a spoon.

Hall of Ugly People - Obviously natural selection and survival of the fittest would never have allowed the likes of Keith Richards or Dick Cheney.


ladybug said...

Creationism's undoing is the word itself

It's a "creation" of scared stupid folk who don't want to take on the task making moral decisions - they want it easy & spoon fed

It's double plus good when it absolves your guilt over screwing your fellow man, and provides a perfectly acceptable cognitive dissonance line of reasoning to still call yourself a "Xian" while doing so...because logic and science of "of de debil!"

Don Snabulus said...

Grace Mountain

This indoor ride takes you up through ever higher layers of emotional exultations until the top where riders reach "Rapture" which consists of looking down over the suffering souls of earth while God drops bags of popcorn into rider laps.

Tax Shelters of the Caribbean

Arrrghh, matey. See beautiful islands where televangelists talk to God spending their tithe on heavenly drinks, servants, hookers, and other luxury accommodations. Go into the dark crevices under the tropical islands where the wealth of God is stored in giant, creepy vaults until such time that the next Crystal Cathedral can be built.

Overdroid said...

Actually, what the xians would like it to be. So it really should be called Yesterdayland. Everyone lives like the Amish, but with more fire and brimstone.

Voyage to Inner Space
Once you get reduced in size you discover that everyone has little Jesuses and angels inside of their bodies.

Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.
Up is down! Day is night! Yes is no! Wrong is right! Standard day for the religious right.

Anonymous said...

Wow, the exhibit with Eve in her chaste white dress and the Velociraptors nearby cheerfully chomping on leafy greens is one the weirdest things I've ever seen. It seems like satire, like something from " The Week in God", the segment Stephen Colbert used to do on the Daily Show. Knowing it's in earnest makes me really, really frightened.

Dean Wormer said...


Agree wholeheartedly. Easier not to think and much less scary than really trying to find your place an enormous universe.


Tax Sheleters of the Carribean. Awesome. Depp should star in the movie spinoff.


"Yesterdayland" is already located in Texas and Virginia. They'd get sued if they tried to use it.


I expected to see a saber tooth tiger throwing her out the door of her cave/ home.

Swinebread said...


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