Friday, March 14, 2008

Whoever holds the conch gets to speak.

Happy Friday! Today is Scotch & Cigar Day here at my office (after hours, of course.) I have a bottle of Glengoyne and a box of cubans I've been saving for this occasion. I might try and pawn off Jack Daniels and Swisher Sweets on Zaius and Randal instead of the good stuff. Don't tell 'em, okay?

Last night I went to Dean Jr.'s Parent/Teacher Conference and wound up laughing through the whole thing like an idiot. The problem was the had us waiting outside the classroom and there on the wall was a big poster his fifth grade class had made entitled "Books We Like To Read."

Next to each child's name was a list of one or two books they personally recommend. All of the books were what you might expect: "Lemony Snicket," "How to be a Pirate," "Harry Potter" or "Bart Simpson Comics."

Next to Dean Jr.'s name: "Lord of the Flies."

After staring at that for about 10 minutes I found myself unable to contain my giggling.

Of course this book choice does explain why he asked us the other day if he was "Emu" because he liked to wear black t-shirts. We looked at each other and then said "Why yes, son, you are a large flightless bird."

Anyhoo, Mr. Dr. Zaius AND the fabulous BAC tagged me with the the six-word biography virus thingy so...







I've had too much scotch to get out of my comfortable leather chair and tag anyone else so consider yourself lucky, punks.


Spirula said...

Whoever holds the conch gets to speak.

That's funny, my girlfriend says something very much like that. But I don't think it's conch. Anyways, it's always her that gets to talk.

Some people are faster than others I guess.

Dean Wormer said...


You never get the conch?

Come to think of it - neither do I.

It goes Mrs. Wormer > kids> dogs > me.

Oh well.

Swinebread said...

I've never read it... is that bad?

Randal Graves said...

Fine, keep all the good stuff, you bastard. And Lord of the Flies and black t-shirts? Dude, your son is going to grow up to be a great, cynical man. That is awesome. And don't laugh at emus, they might be the only non-contaminated meat in a few years.

Dean Wormer said...


It is one of those books like "1984" that you shouldn't get out of high school without reading, imo.

If you wanted to borrow it some time feel free. We could discuss what the character of Simon symbolizes...


Thanks! He's not even close to being emo but he is pretty damn smart.

Emu: delicious AND nutricious.

Jess Wundrun said...

dean, I have finished the seven things meme. I'm sure the paper is overdue, but I was hoping you'd erase my incomplete

Dr. Zaius said...

Bah! Stolychnoya, please. "Pop" goes the Wormer! Indeed...

Dean Wormer said...


Awesome! I'll check it out.



pissed off patricia said...

Hope you are ready to celebrate St. Patrick's day today. Gotta take a timeout from the scotch and get ready for the green beer or martini.

Dean Wormer said...

Is it a green martini? Say, an appletini?

Westcoast Walker said...

Appletini is the ultimate masculine beverage!

You are justifiably proud of JR - sounds like a cool kid. My five year old is a mad genius too - he saw a commercial the other day on TV and stated "their just trying to sell you stuff".

Dean Wormer said...


Thanks. Your kid sounds pretty cool as well!