Morality sucks.

Abraham Lincoln was a lefty Moonbat?

But then we always suspected that anyway, didn't we?

Philip, get me another body.

In the tradition of the FEMA presser from this week here's a short interview I did with myself.

Question: Have you always been this imposingly tall?

Wormer: No, when I was younger I was shorter.

Question: How about the rugged good looks?

Wormer: Unfortunately the Tom Selleck features are something I'm cursed with.

Question: With regards to your job- some classify you as a super-genius who will ultimately wind up running the company while others say your simply smarter than 98% of your coworkers and will wind up running the company. Which is it?

Wormer: My momma taught me modesty. I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

Question: Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions, and can I just say you're terrific?

Wormer: Shucks.

They caught A shark, not THE shark. Big difference.

I've been trolling the college football boards after Boston college's lame win last night (neither team should've been Top 10 IMO) and I thought I'd pull out my little sports translator to clarify some of the comments made by fans --

"Defense wins championships" As do offenses. And Special Teams. The "defense wins" argument is usually advanced by teams with so-so quarterbacks who somehow pull out wins.

"Good teams find a way to win" translated this means" my team has an easy schedule which lets us go undefeated but I won't admit it."

"You want to play in the Big Show you got to win every game." The road to a Championship means scheduling powder puffs.

"Your conference (insert PAC 10, Big 12, SEC here) sucks." Translates to "I really don't watch any games by the teams in that conference but I just know that our conference is the toughest.

Playoffs. Please.

A little unexpected what happened down there, huh?

With respect to Albus Dumbledore coming out of the closet this week I really don't know what to think other than to observe that when a wizard loves another wizard it's a magical thing.

Dave, look at me! Do I look like somebody's playing a practical joke?

Oh, for Chrissakes...

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- House Republicans are fuming over Democrats' decision to hold the next vote on the State Children's Health Insurance Program on Thursday -- when many Republicans will be in California as President Bush tours areas hit by wildfires.

"Five to seven members are going, all of whom would be 'no' votes, and [Democrats] know it," House Republican Whip Roy Blunt told CNN. "This is clearly designed to minimize the Republican opposition to this bill."

President Bush vetoed the proposed five-year expansion and $35 billion spending increase for SCHIP on October 3.

How anybody can see the whiny little punks that make up the GOP as anything more than spoiled children is beyond me.

They all asking Pelosi to postpone the vote as "fellow Californians."

Fuck 'em.

It's not like California somehow needs the pompous Republican windbags to somehow recover.

I'd take it a step further and introduce anything else that looked like it might be a close vote. This is how they ran the place for six years - no comity and no mercy for these weasels.

This is no dream! This is really happening!

This can not end well.

ANKARA, Turkey - Turkish warplanes and helicopter gunships attacked positions of Kurdish rebels along the rugged Iraqi-Turkish border on Wednesday, the country's official Anatolia news agency reported.

Several F-16 warplanes loaded with bombs took off from an air base in southeastern city of Diyarbakir, private Dogan news agency and local reporters said.

Earlier, Turkish artillery units were shelling rebel positions as late as Tuesday night in northern Iraq, according to a government official who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the media.

But aren't those members of congress who think they're smarter than George W. Bush at foreign policy just silly?

'And there shall be destruction and darkness come upon creation and the beasts will reign over the earth.'

Pete Stark apogized to the President on the floor of the House today for remarks in which he accused Bush of "sending kids to Iraq to get their heads blown off for his own amusement.*"

Sigh.

I think I can attribute my high blood pressure whenever I focus on politics to the fact that, unlike the elected Demcoratic representatives in congress, I don't function under a severe form of ADD.

How else can one explain the Democratic leadership's capitulation in the face of resolution censuring Stark introduced by none other than Republican John Boehner? The same John Boehner who just last month refused to apologize for saying soldiers killed in Iraq were paying a "small price" for our freedoms?

I just played a little game on Google. I took the name of leading conservative media personalities and congressman and did a search with their name plus the word "apologize." The results? "Democrats call for Limbaugh apology." "Democrats demand Boehner apologize for 'small price' remarks." "Critics call Coulter religious remarks insensitive."

Missing from all of that is an actual apology from any of those jackasses. Not to mention a "moveon" type censure.

What a bunch of spineless wimps the Democratic leadership is. It's just pathetic.

* That is not to say I agree with Stark's comment that Bush was getting soldiers killed for his own amusement. I think it's well established that Bush could care less one way or the other when our soldiers are killed.

The boys around here call it "The Black Lagoon"; a paradise. Only they say nobody has ever come back to prove it.

I somehow missed that Garry Trudeau had been running a little milblog called The Sandbox.

There are some really moving stories written by our troops in Afganhistan and Iraq talking about what they face day to day chronicled there.

This bit by LT Carl Goforth writing about a return from Iraq really choked me up-

"Saturday morning landing in Cherry Point, North Carolina. The cheers and clapping bring the plane to a roaring good touchdown. Flight crew laughing and clapping right along with us. After unloading and loading our gear several more times on the flight line, we board buses for the hour ride to Camp Lejune.

Families are there waiting. We coordinate to make sure new Dads get off the buses first. And there we are: exhausted, soaked in sweat, and smelling up the bus like a petting zoo.

Nobody cares. Buses roll up. Wives are holding their cheeks, crying and trembling in their beautiful summer dresses. Dads rush off first with laughing and running children jumping into their arms. Moms join the fray. A few parents make it too, and they stand patiently in the back waving little American flags. I hang back a minute or so, just taking it all in. A Rockwellian moment comes to life outside my little bus window.

And right here, right now: all somehow seems right in the world."

More than anything I wish that story could be repeated 140,000 plus times in the months ahead.

My mind is my own, and nobody's going to change it! I'm not going into that room!

A little upbeat Monday quote from an essay my oldest just wrote on patriotism:

"I love the people in this country. The facts are that if you're drowning a stranger will save you, if you need blood people will donate it for you, if there's a war someone will fight for you to make your life safer. These people do these things and many more for you everyday without even having to know you. These people make up this countries's personality. They make this country glow with a kindness that seems surreal. As a teen what I've noticed is that giving back and thanking these great people, these fellow Americans even just cheering them on defines patriotism. These people have inspired me to become a patriot and work harder on becoming a better one. This is the thing that has influenced me the most. "Kind words may be short but their echoes are endless."- Mother Teresa"

Wonder what they'd have done to Columbus if he'd discovered America, and then mislaid it.

Unintentionally funny quote of the day from Victor Davis Hanson in today's opinion page in the Big O:

"Too often Congress and it's wayward members decide they're smarter at foreign affairs than President Bush. "

The problem in which members of congress decide they're smarter than Bush on foreign affairs isn't limited to wayward members of congress. It's extends to small children, other primates and certain inanimate objects including pencils.

In fact; had we simply flipped a coin at every important foreign policy juncture over the last six years we would've been better off as a country than having the drooling moron in the oval office and his track record of utter, complete failure make foreing policy decisions.