If you don't know then nobody knows but I know you know and you should know better.

We interupt our October horror film quotes for a Chrissy Snow update.

Sarah Palin will not win tonight's debate despite the bar being lowered so far it's currently burried at about six feet under.

In addition I would really wish guys online would stop referring to her as a "MILF." There is nothing milfy or in the least bit attractive about her. But then I'm attracted to smart women so there you are. Phhhtttt!

Then there's this bit of satire which sadly doesn't read as satire.

"In one part of the interview, I asked her what newspapers and magazines she read before being asked to be John McCain's running mate," Couric said. "And she couldn't name any. So again, I turned to the crew and I said, 'Hold it, guys,' and I went to the Governor privately and said, 'Governor Palin, did you not understand the question? I'm asking you to name some newspapers or magazines you read. You can't come up with any? I'm just trying to make sure you're clear and to give you a fair shake here.' And she said, 'Okay. Nightline? Is that a magazine?' I said, 'No, that's a television show.' She said, 'What about Lou Dobbs? Isn't that a newspaper?' And I said, 'No, that's a man. Lou Dobbs is a man.' And there wasn't much more I could do. I'm not a miracle worker."

Jack, I have a two-part question... Why?

Yeah, Sarah Quaylin is ready to lead. She can't even take questions.

In the negotiations, Republicans wanted to limit the amount of time available for their neophyte candidate, Palin, to be questioned on a single topic.

Of course they did.

Oh, I love surprises. It's funny that you never suspect them!

Happy Friday!

Dang. That Palin interview was just embarrassing. Especially this part...

GIBSON: What do you think of the Bush Doctrine?

PALIN: Forgive me if I'm wrong Charlie but I believe George Bush was a Governor not a doctor before he became President.

GIBSON: "Doctrine." As in "tenet" or "philosophy."

PALIN: I'm pretty sure George Tenet was our spy guy before. You aren't going to get me with that trick question.

GIBSON: Here's a hint; it's something President Bush put in place following the September the 11th attacks.

PALIN: His mountain bike? His wife? He puts her in her place all the time.

(Gibson can be heard sighing.)

GIBSON: As I understand it the Bush Doctrine means the United States reserves the right to use preemptive force against countries we suspect of aiding terrorists.

PALIN: Umm. What do you think of it?

GIBSON: Well, I... wait a minute. You're the one that's supposed to answer the question.

PALIN: I think that the Bush Doctrine is good. In fact it's the best doctrine ever. All Americans would be happier if they followed President Bush's doctrine.