Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to darkest Hollywood.

As the two Democratic candidates for the presidency continue to be the living crap out of each other I find myself wanting to abuse John McCain as much as possible. It's some sort of weird psychological projection thing I must have going.

The video below is something I put together this week. It's my first try at something like this and was obviously inspired by Randal Graves and Dr. Zaius posts of late. The multi-talented Overdroid was kind enough to donate his vocal talents which is pretty cool considering he usually gets paid for that sort of thing.

If you enjoy this please feel free to embed it on your own site or share it as much as possible. I'd like for more people to see the damned thing. If you don't like it -- well, the world needs ditchdiggers too. I'm not sure why that quote is justified here but it just is. Nyah!

Well, snap out of it!

I was happy to realize that the little tickle at the back of my brain wasn't an aneurysm, but that I had instead been tagged somewhere on the great wide internets.

The nature of this evil is to list 7 random things about yourself that people might not know. As I only loosely consider those with whom we interact on the web as "people" I think that leaves me pretty open to share a couple of things about me that friends and family already take for granted.

1) I play the bagpipes. Badly. I have a beautiful set of Shepherd's that I get out at each of my three kid's birthdays which I use to noisily wake them up.

2) I went to Catholic grade school and high school and briefly entertained thoughts of being a priest including spending some time at the local seminary when I was thinking about college.

3) I've had a crush on Barbara Eden since I was twelve.

4) I've been shot at. It was in high school and involved camping with a bunch of buddies, alcohol and a rifle. We beat the crap out of the guy that did it.

5) I still consider my best friend from when I was 10 years old to me my best friend even though we talk about once a year. Families and all...

6) Favorite candy: orange slices. Pure sugar, baby.

7) I've actually been afraid to write this because I'm not sure it's not illegal and the whole FISA thing makes me nervous. When you-know-who was visiting my city I went down to watch the protests and such during lunch and wound up in the odd situation of having his motorcade stop right by the corner I was standing on. I gave him the finger. It must've looked odd with all the protesters marching around and there's me in a tie and slacks showing him the bird. I'm actually pretty proud of that moment.

I'll ding Snabulus, West Coast Walker, Swinebread, Overdroid and

Jess Wundrun.

I love you, Honey Bunny.

You're probably aware of two of John McCain's high profile endorsements. Last week he won the endorsement of bigoted televangelist John Hagee.

Just today George W. Bush dropped the banana he was eating, climbed down from the trees in the Rose Garden and endorsed McCain as well ("Ook, ook, eek. John McCain.") The president then gamely checked the senator for ticks.

In the midst of that you've probably missed some other important endorsements that McCain had wrangled out of people just as famous and just as well thought of as the preacher and the Chief Executive.

Khan Noonien Singh - "I'm happy to support John McCain for the White House because he's got a plan for ending illegal immigration and because he's most likely to start the Genetics Wars bringing about the fall of non-bio engineered humans."

Sanjaya- "John McCain has just the lovely singing voice the president should have."



Mr. Blonde - "I love John's stance on torture."

As you can see the list of McCain supporters is quite impressive.

Magneto's right: there is a war coming. Are you sure you're on the right side?

Well, at least Oregon matters for the first time in my lifetime.

I kind of wish it didn't. I have a very bad feeling about where this thing is going.

Hope I'm wrong. It wouldn't be the first time.

(Today's quote/ pic is for ladybug)

You're going to the dungeons.

Oh noes! Gary Gygax missed his last saving throw!

No resurrection spell available.

RIP Gary and thanks for all the great fun, imagination and cheetos. You will be missed.

Say it!... Say it!... Say it!

Ever heard of the "Wilhelm Scream?"

Even if you hadn't heard OF it, you've probably heard it:

You've probably heard the Wilhelm Scream dozens of times in different movies and television shows without realizing it, but it's one of those things that once you hear, you'll always be able to identify it afterwards. It's now become an in-joke amongst sound editors who try to insert it into their films whenever there's a perfect moment that just needs an over-the-top scream. It began as a Warner Bros. stock sound effect, but was revived and put to serious use by Star Wars sound designer Ben Burtt. Now the thing just won't die.

The i09 site traces the scream back to an actor Sheb Wooley but I know the true origins of the scream:

Sharon, don't you understand what's going on? The world's a disaster.

Man, you leave for the weekend and everything goes to hell. The Gaza strip erupts into violence, the U.S. bombs a Somali town, Iranian President Ahmadinejad visits Iraq, Venezuala and Ecuador are on the brink of war with Columbia and Van Halen breaks up yet again.

Sometimes one has to sit back and wonder if mankind will ever be able to break the genetic disposition to conflict and or if David Lee Roth's ego will always be too much for Eddie to overcome.

In Pakistan police fired tear gas at lawyers. If it was the United States the police would be heroes.

Russia held an election with the results somewhat questionable. Dmitri Medvedev will share power with outgoing Russian President Vladimir Putin. Thank God we've never had to face a situation where we had two Presidents here in the United States.

As a final sign that the apocalypse is nigh our own Overdroid won an ACME award from the prestigious ACME Comedy Theater in Los Angeles for Best Sketch Comedy series. Surely he is the Fourth Horseman.

(Note: this shot is not fuzzy. The subject is.)