Thursday, February 07, 2008

I don't believe in magic, a lot of superstitious hocus pocus.

Scenes you'd forgotten (or wish you had) Part 5: Indiana Cousteau - Namor's Illigitimate Son.

In Spielberg's classic film "Raiders of the Lost Ark" there remains one scene universally considered by fans of the film to be the Crazy Uncle in the Attic. It's the scene in movie filled with unbelievable stunts and dark magic that unfortunately pushes the button of unbelievability a little too hard.

Indy and Marian escape on a freighter with the Ark but are intercepted at sea by one of Hitler's U-boats. Indy hides on the ship but the Germans capture Marian and the Ark. As the U-boat is just about to leave the freighter's crew spot Indy swimming towards the submarine. Indy climbs abord the sub, scampers up to the control tower and looks around obviously as confused as the audience as to what the hell he's going to do next.

Will he tear open one of the hatches, incapacitate a crewman and hide on the sub until it's destination? Or will he cling to the side of the sub and hope that it doesn't submerge until it reaches it's destination? How will Indy beat the odds this time?

We don't really know because the next few shots are of the Captain of the U-boat ordering his crew to submerge, a map overlay of the U-boat travelling hundreds of miles while the crew go about their work, and the eventual arrival at a secret island U-boat base seen through the periscope (usually used while the sub is underwater if I'm not mistaken.)

Then we see Indy already in the base, dripping and catching his breath as he watches the same U-boat he caught a ride on pull into the cave.

Apparently Indiana Jones can...

A) Hold his breath for a hell of a long time or

B) Telepathically command his fish minions to carry him alongside submarines or

C) Teleport.


ladybug said...

Hey, you have to suspend your disbelief!

I mean come on, this is a clear example of Doublethink...which is what BUSHites are supremely adept at...

This is all for your own good, brother-Welcome to the Matrix!

Swinebread said...

Done in the tradition of those old movie serials

Evil Spock said...

Well, if the periscope was up the whole time, he could've just sat on top of it the whole time.

Evil Spock said...

Oh, and finally linked you back. Welcome to The Few!

Don Snabulus said...

The MiniSnab is pretty good at noticing movie inconsistencies. That one is a whopper though (maybe a double whopper with cheese).

Randal Graves said...

All you have to do in such a situation is [redacted - national security] and then [redacted - national security] before finally [redacted - national security].

How do I know? Top men.

Dean Wormer said...


Doublethink? Are you saying Spielberg is Orwellian? Lucas, maybe. But Spielberg?


Done in the tradition of those old movie serials.

Or they wrote themselves into a corner and just said "screw it!"

Evil Spock-

That sounds painful but fun at the same time. Thanks for the link!


Yeah, I almost didn't do it because it's so obvious. It's pretty low hanging fruit on the "Scenes You'd Forgotten" tree.


You're not fooling me. Real goverment insiders don't redact anymore. They just destroy all the evidence.

Westcoast Walker said...

Does he keep his hat on the entire way?

I think in the new film he uses his Depends under garment as a flotation device to help him beat the baddies back to the senior's home.

Thomas Fummo said...

Blame it all on Gabbo...
or something.

Dean Wormer said...


Ha! Or hooks his cane to the periscope.


It has to be Gabbo.

Dean Wormer said...


Ha! Or hooks his cane to the periscope.


It has to be Gabbo.

Dr. Zaius said...

It was in the script, OK?

Dean Wormer said...

Are you saying it's just a movie? Sacrilege!