Josh Bolten's five point plan to restore Bush's presidency:
1. Jackboots - If guns and badges play to the base then jackboots, lines of tens of thousands of soldiers goosestepping in precision and a return to the halicon days of spying on our friends and neighbors will make the President even MORE popular.
2. Make Thurston and Lovey Howell Happy - It's not necessary to fix the economy so that all Americans are doing well as long as you keep the millionaires that talk about the economy happy when they're on the Week on Wall Street then everything's peachy.
3. Magic Tricks - The problem with Scott McClellan as Press Secretary is that he was really dry and not all that entertaining. That's why it's important to hire Tony Snow who plays the saxaphone and has a sense of humor. He'll live by the credo to "Always keep 'em laughing."
"Yes, we may be building pyramids out of naked prisoners at Gitmo but watch me juggle these three oranges."
4. B&B (Brag & Bloviate) - Sure there's not a lot to brag about but make something up anyway and brag about that. "Under the Bush Presidency the average score of a round of golf on courses in the continental United States have dropped by four strokes. We have President Bush's firm and decisive leadership to thank for this."
5. Operation Flying Codpiece II - Blowing stuff up always plays in Peoria and their are plenty of Middle East countries left to bomb. The last war's "Mission Accomplished" moment didn't seem to last long so this time, when it comes to protecting (and projecting) the Presidential Package this time we don't fool around - - -
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