Tuesday, April 25, 2006

These go to eleven.

Josh Bolten's five point plan to restore Bush's presidency:

1. Jackboots - If guns and badges play to the base then jackboots, lines of tens of thousands of soldiers goosestepping in precision and a return to the halicon days of spying on our friends and neighbors will make the President even MORE popular.

2. Make Thurston and Lovey Howell Happy - It's not necessary to fix the economy so that all Americans are doing well as long as you keep the millionaires that talk about the economy happy when they're on the Week on Wall Street then everything's peachy.

3. Magic Tricks - The problem with Scott McClellan as Press Secretary is that he was really dry and not all that entertaining. That's why it's important to hire Tony Snow who plays the saxaphone and has a sense of humor. He'll live by the credo to "Always keep 'em laughing."

"Yes, we may be building pyramids out of naked prisoners at Gitmo but watch me juggle these three oranges."

4. B&B (Brag & Bloviate) - Sure there's not a lot to brag about but make something up anyway and brag about that. "Under the Bush Presidency the average score of a round of golf on courses in the continental United States have dropped by four strokes. We have President Bush's firm and decisive leadership to thank for this."

5. Operation Flying Codpiece II - Blowing stuff up always plays in Peoria and their are plenty of Middle East countries left to bomb. The last war's "Mission Accomplished" moment didn't seem to last long so this time, when it comes to protecting (and projecting) the Presidential Package this time we don't fool around - - -

4 comments:

Uncle Jophus said...

You forgot:
6. We are rubber you are glue. The administration will refrain from playing the blame game by firmly blaming anyone else for blaming them for things they actually did. The act of blaming the administration for anything will allways be worse than what the administration did in the first place. Blame - rhymes with Plame. As in the corrolary "If we leak it's good, if you leak it's bad. nanny nanny pants on fire."

Dean Wormer said...

Nice!

Digby asked if everybody in the Republican party has the maturity of a six year old.

The question was rhetorical, of course.

Don Snabulus said...

...or tautological.

We are now in the 3rd and hopefully final phase of the Bush Snow Job. First, there was the youthful frolicking with cocaine, then a treasury secretary, and finally White House spokesman.

Oooo, the damage done.

Uncle Jophus said...

We can only hope that the house of cards goes down in a big ugly mess that reveals all the crap underneath. And that it happens before WW III.