Wednesday, January 07, 2009

So you lied to me! And you admit it without shame!

For longer than I can remember the readers of Oregon's only daily newspaper have had to suffer through the insipid mental driveling of conservative columnist David Reinhard. Reinhard was sort of a cross between George Will (sans intellect) and Rush Limbaugh (sans attempts at humor.) Talentless, humorless and lazy, Reinhard's columns read like he'd taken the words directly off the GOP blast fax for the day and simply rearranged them into something he could loosely call his own.

Reinhard seemed to exist on the pages of the Oregonian for one reason only- to maintain, along with liberal columnist David Sarasohn, the faux sense of balance so popular among the media these days. A balance, I might add, that tries to level right wing fantasy with center left moderation. To this end Reinhard excelled at his job- peppering his column with easily dis proven lies both big and small.

So it was with cautious optimism that I greeted the announcement just before the end of the year that Reinhard was retiring his column. Surely this action signaled a recognition by the Oregonian that the country, and their metro readership, had grown tired of the right-wing pablum that has poisoned the public discourse over the course of the last few years. The paper would have to acknowledge that the America of Barack Obama would be vastly different than the American of George W. Bush.

Unfortunately, when faced with these new realities the Oregonian opted instead to paint the pig. They hired "independent" and "center-right" columnist Elizabeth Hovde to fill Reinhard's two right shoes. She begins with the paint--

Like many people in this great, green, soggy region of independents, I am not partisan. Subscribing to the platform of just one political party feels as awkward as dressing up for church in Portland, a city where many pastors preach in jeans.

She's just a regular Tom McCall. Only less partisan.

How does she define this independent, non-partisan POV of hers?

I am conservative, however. I'm pro-life. I am anti-bailouts. I think unions are outdated, overly political and that every state should have a right-to-work law ending compulsory unionism. I oppose Oregon's Death With Dignity Act; I oppose even calling it the "Death With Dignity" Act. I am skeptical of some of Portland's Smart Growth policies and believe they've helped create massive sprawl just across the river.


She is anti-woman, anti-union, anti-land use and anti-personal/ regional responsibility.

I worry that many public schools teach sex education in ways that undermine parents. It's maddening to me that minors can't get tattoos in Oregon but they can receive abortions without a parent's knowledge, care or guidance. I grow weary of government safety nets that not only comfort those in true need but also become hammocks for those with an ability to be self-sufficient.

She believes strongly that one should keep one's head firmly up one's ass when dealing with the realities of teen pregnancy. She further believes that it would be better for the poor to die and decrease the surplus population.

I believe government's job is to support an equality of opportunity rather than an equality of outcome. That's why President-elect Barack Obama's talk about being your brother's keeper scares me silly, and his cradle-to-grave vision for education makes me clutch my wallet. At the same time, I feel hopeful when he speaks and am glad he's rejuvenated so many Americans.

She thinks Obama is a socialist and taxes are teh bad.

I supported the Iraq invasion in 2003. Heck, I even voted for George W. Bush -- twice.

This speaks for itself.

It's ridiculous that the Oregonian would replace one intellectually lazy, conservative dimwit who wears their stupidity like a badge of honor with another who shares 99% of the same views but calls herself an "independent" and then try and pass that off as change. It's more of the same and it's an insult to their mostly center-left readership which they continue to refuse to cater to.

I used to be sad at the prospect of traditional print newspapers going the way of the dodo. Not anymore. It's become clearer and clearer that they have no one to blame but themselves for their situation. They treat their customers like morons and then are surprised when their customers start looking to alternate outlets of information, most notably the Internet, to get their news. Feigning surprise at this turn of events just makes them all the more pathetic.

16 comments:

Übermilf said...

She says she's "independent" because the Republican party is too liberal for her, I think.

You know, there are hundreds of hopeful journalism students out there; why does this dumb bitch get a columnist job?

Swinebread said...

The Oregonian suppressed info about Packwood and endorsed Bush... what do you expect.

Swinebread said...

The Oregonian suppressed info about Packwood and endorsed Bush... what do you expect.

Randal Graves said...

"What the hell we supposed to do, you moran?"

"Everyone thought the Oregonian was brain damaged."

Isn't pastors preaching in jeans one of the seven signs?

Randal Graves said...

Oh, and Cthulhu bless you for the shot of Catherine. Thou art the man.

Don Snabulus said...

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose. (The more things change, the more they stay the same.)

It was a predictable move by the Oregon. Maybe they feel that getting people worked up will improve readership. It won't work.

Those quotes of hers are, quite frankly, inane. Yep, sounds like the Oregonian.

Lockwood said...

This is the second take-down of Hovde that I've read- I think the first was in BlueOregon. I was honestly hoping to give her a chance for her first couple of columns. The first column can't really help but be platitude-laden and insipid... I wanted to see where she went from there.

However, I think you and the other writer make similar and compelling points; despite her protestations of open-mindedness, she basically is laying out the party line and saying, "as long as its what the party sez, I'm willing to come arond and agree with it."

While I doubt that anyone can rise to the pinnacle of inanity achieved by Rinehard, I guess I'm going to have to look elsewhere for intelligent conservative commnetary and insight- no, I don't believe that "intelligent conservative" is necessarily an oxymoron. Though I think that "intelligent republican" probably is.

BTW- Oregon's "only" daily newspaper? "Only major," yes. You should check out the Bend Bulletin- surprisingly good, an interesting paper that is clearly trying to mesh Red roots with Blue growth and vibrancy. (I won't argue that the Statesman Journal, Gazette Times, or Register Guard deserve the name "newspapers")

ThoughtCriminal said...

Being a right-wing columnist/pundit has to be one of the easiest jobs on the planet. Cut and paste talking points, plagiarism not just tolerated but encouraged, the wing-nut book club bulk buys automatically put your hate anthologies on best-seller lists. And if you're shrill and outrageous enough, the speaking fees aren't bad either. The only thing that you really have to worry about is that the market is saturated.

Arkonbey said...

"talk about being your brother's keeper scares me silly"

So, I take it she's one of those conservatives that go to church on Sunday, but don't think about the un-privileged the rest of the week.

Our local is just... boring. Gets called liberal by the right and conservative by the left.

Luckily, our local ree weekly has something most weeklies I've read don't: actual journalism and pretty darn good writing.

But, hey. Could have been worse: Ann Coulter could be doing a syndicated column and the Oregonian could have picked it up!

FranIAm said...

She's vile, vile, vile.

And she does it in what sounds like a very post-modern way.

Ugh.

I don't read your paper and already I am tired of her.

Hi Dean. Sorry I've been missing.

Oh. What?

You did not notice?

Well then! Fine!

(P.S. - among the many heinous things she said, preachers in jeans? Yes? And? Jeans and Jesus - the words are startling similar to me.)

FranIAm said...

Ah- as I hit enter it hit me... Jeans lead to satanism and unions.

I forgot!

pissed off patricia said...

Ah yes, she is certainly right down the middle of the road, isn't she. Not! These sorts of folks are sounding kind of pathetic to me at this point.

WTF is it about jeans that bothers her?

Dean Wormer said...

Ubermilf-

You know, there are hundreds of hopeful journalism students out there; why does this dumb bitch get a columnist job?

Exactly. One of the things the paper does is let the readers vote on which comics they'll carry in the living section. I wish they'd let us do that with her because she'd be off the island.

Swinebread-

The Oregonian suppressed info about Packwood and endorsed Bush... what do you expect.

I guess I expected that when the world changed they'd change as well, at least to survive. Obviously that's not the case.

randal-

Isn't pastors preaching in jeans one of the seven signs?

Close. It's one of the seven deadly sins. It's right after my favorite; gluttony.

Your welcome for Deneuve. ;)

Don-

Predictable and stupid. This isn't the 90s anymore and the Limbaugh/ Coulter schtick is getting old.

Lockwood-

Thanks for the head's up on Blue Oregon. I'm going looking for that article.

However, I think you and the other writer make similar and compelling points; despite her protestations of open-mindedness, she basically is laying out the party line and saying, "as long as its what the party sez, I'm willing to come arond and agree with it."

That's kind of how I took it. She's not interested in conversation. Hell, her whole worldview is precipitated on NOT listenting or showing empathy towards others. That's not a starting point for dialog.

BTW- Oregon's "only" daily newspaper? "Only major," yes. You should check out the Bend Bulletin- surprisingly good, an interesting paper that is clearly trying to mesh Red roots with Blue growth and vibrancy. (I won't argue that the Statesman Journal, Gazette Times, or Register Guard deserve the name "newspapers")

Sorry. Meant to say statewide paper. We get a number of papers in the law library here but the Bend Bulletin isn't one of 'em. I need to talk to the librarian.

(Agree with you about calling the RG a newspaper. Ha!)

Thoughtcriminal-

The only thing that you really have to worry about is that the market is saturated.

True. It would be really hard to carve out a niche. Blowhard conservative, crazy conservative, angry conservative and "thoughtful" conservative are all taken.

Arkonbey-

That 7 Days paper look even cooler than our own weekly Willamette Week or even the edgier Portland Mercury. Besides, that "Taste Test: Nunyuns" article looks to be right up my alley.

But, hey. Could have been worse: Ann Coulter could be doing a syndicated column and the Oregonian could have picked it up!

I guess there is that.

Fran-

Of course I missed you! Things aren't the same in the blog o'world without you around.

Personally I find preachers in jeans to be offensive. That's why I never go to church. That'll show 'em.

POP-

WTF is it about jeans that bothers her?

She prefers women wear burkas in public so you can see where she's coming from.

Lockwood said...

If you haven't found it, the Blue Oregon piece is here. I read the Bend Bulletin online; I subscribe to their RSS feed. I think there's a fair amount of "subscription only" material I don't have access to, but I still find it one of the more interesting Oregon "papers."

enigma4ever said...

( good he is gone- good riddance- used to read your paper when I lived in the NW..remember him well...)

NOW about people who claim to be "independent" , siting on the fence " looking at Both sides"...

I don't buy it...at all..

I think they are scared to say WHERE they really sit and WHAT they really believe in...if after 8 years of this Pure Repug Hell people can not see WHAT is on Both sides of the fence- they are not really "independent" they are "blind"....

sorry....had to say it...

enigma4ever said...

omg...LOL..I thought Fran I am said "jeans and onions...."