Wednesday, December 03, 2008

I'll be your huckleberry.

Randal a étiqueté moi mais je ne peux pas parler français.

Thank goodness there's a Babel Fish translator.

1. Five names you go by: Dad, Lurch, Johnny Apache (My stripper name from college), Vernon (Wormer) and Sergio Marinara.
2. Three things you are wearing right now: A smile (gag), mesh underwear (I rarely wear underwear but when I do it's usually of the mesh variety) and a cheap tie.
3. Two things you want very badly at the moment: Go home and get some more sleep and Bo Derek.
4. Three people who will probably fill this out: Our gorilla overlord, our blogger chaplin and our comic book expert.
5. Two things you did last night: Drove my oldest daughter to firefighter school and made delicious club sandwiches for the family.
6. Two things you ate today: One piece of dry wheat toast and another piece of dry wheat toast.
7. Two people you last talked to on the phone: Mrs. Wormer who heard there was an accident on the freeway involving a fistfight and was worried it was me and one of my staff who just called in sick after being on vacation for the last two weeks. One more pay raise and I'm switching to the Republican party.
8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow: Look for a new employee and get in a fistfight with somebody on the way to work.
9. Two longest car rides: When I was 12 and my parents decided to drive to Disneyland from Portland. They kept stopping to look at redwood trees and stuff. The other was Thanksgiving when we drove to visit my Mother in Law. Dead man walking.
10. Two of your favorite beverages: French roast coffee, homemade blackberry wine, scotch, blended margarita, coke, banana milkshakes... I can't limit it to just two.

11 comments:

Dr. Zaius said...

Hey! General Ursus is just a paid flunkie! Not an overlord.

Er, I mean a valued and important member of my campaign staff.

Dean Wormer said...

Oops. Sorry I get you guys mixed up. You have to understand that to humans gorillas and orangutans all look the same.

I'm afraid I'm a bit prejudiced when it comes to other members of the family Hominidae.

Randal Graves said...

Je ne peux pas parler français aussi.

Republicans get in fistfights? Don't they just usually hire kneebreakers?

As for #6, I heartily recommend I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. You wouldn't want to make Fabio cry, would you?

Remember when you were a kid and you mixed all the cereal remnants in a single bowl? You should do that with #10 and see if it's any good. Assuming you're not in jail for assault.

dguzman said...

Coolest character in a western EVAH. Why, you're no daisy at'all!

Don Snabulus said...

That is a dandy list...better than mine for sure.

How about a blackberry wine milkshake. It could be the next meth.

FranIAm said...

Blogger chaplain indeed!!

Swinebread said...

Am I supposed to fill this out?

Übermilf said...

Re: #6 Are you Elwood Blues?

Re: Fran as chaplain Does this mean she can take my confession?

pissed off patricia said...

The longest ride of my life was the night had been out drinking with friends and got home about 1:00am. My mother was up, all packed and she had decided we would leave then for the drive from Tampa Fla to Rome Ga. to visit her mother. I was the driver. How I made that trip I will never know, but I was a total wreck when I got there. Hugs all around and straight to the bed.

Arkonbey said...

Firefighter school? Coolness. I went to a fireschool out your way in '89. Out in Bend, I think. It was set up for building, ship, tank car and aircraft all nestled in an evergreen valley in the fricken middle of nowhere!

get in a fistfight with somebody on the way to work. What are you, in fight club?

Dean Wormer said...

randal-

Keeping Fabio from crying is my entire reason for being alive.

dguzman-

Agree - although Clint Eastwood in A Fistful of Dollars would be a close second. Kilmer just owned that Doc Holliday role. Should have won him an oscar.

don-

Milkshake sounds good, but how about just putting the wine on top of ice cream? Nummers.

fran-

If the vestment fits...

swine-

Only if you feel like it, buddy.

Ubermilf-

+1 for the Blues Brothers reference. :)

The great thing about Fran taking confessions is she issues Cher songs to recite instead of Lord's Prayers.

Pop-

That is a scary story. Were you even drinking coffee? I could've never done that.

Arkonbey-

Yup, she's a Firefighter Explorer. She's only 15 so she has to wait until next year to go out on runs.

I haven't really gotten into a fistfight since college. I just thought it was funny the missus automatically assumed that in a city of a couple of million people I would be the joker punching somebody over a fender-bender.