Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Look, why don't you just run for Congress and leave us alone?

The Onion has provided a handy Election Glossary for those of us confused about all the terms thrown about.

A few examples-

absentee ballot
A form of voting that does not involve the inconvenience of having to get up off the couch and walk to a high school gymnasium.

The process by which Americans are quadrennially reminded of Iowa's existence.

election worker
A male or female at least 70 years of age.

The degree to which each candidate is able to hide the extent to which he or she is full of shit.

political consultants
Individuals who are very savvy politically, but don't have enough hair to run for office themselves.

I've come up with a couple on my own-

ballot initiative
The process by which things are written into law that even the legislators aren't stupid enough to pass.

network anchor
So named because they sink every substantive discussion of politics.

Saying anything that can any way be construed negatively about the candidate I support.

misogyny/ racism
See mudslinging.
Any of your own you'd like to add?


Don Snabulus said...

I want to sling a few out there, but my brain is full from work. I especially like the Network Anchor definition.

Randal Graves said...

Pollster - political telemarketer. Okay, that wasn't really that funny. Sorry.

pissed off patricia said...

I'm laughing too hard at these to be able to think or be creative. The one about the poll workers is so true. Ours are totally clueless and oft times I have to help them find my name in their book. Really, it's kind of sad.

Swinebread said...

Someone that likes to blow shit up because they are too stupid to debate the issues.

Political Action Committee (PAC):
A group of people that take the blame so the candidate can sucker punch.

susan said...

Speaking of the Onion I found their diebold video election spoiler this morning. Maybe you've seen it but if not..

Dean Wormer said...




No, it was funny. :)


We have vote by mail here. I miss the poll workers. :(


Nicely done, sir!


That video is hysterical.

Dr. Zaius said...

Ha! "Network anchor" - Very good.

Dean Wormer said...