Tuesday, August 08, 2006

You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!

It ain't exactly Disneyland. Developers propose military theme park.

"You can command the latest M-1 tank, feel the rush of a paratrooper freefall, fly a Cobra Gunship or defend your B-17 as a waist gunner," according to the proposal by Universal City Property Management III, of Orlando, which was obtained by The Washington Post.


I called the developer and was able to get a list of some of the other rides they're proposing-

Mr. Rumsfeld's Wild Ride - Face knowns and known unkowns on a trip through Rummy's world. The only words out of your mouth after taking a ride on this spinning bad boy will be "Oh my goodness gracious me!"

George W. Bush's Toontown - The president's imagination come alive. Democracy springs up via pixie dust and everything takes on the sharp relief of black and white cartoons of yesteryear.

SDI Missile Command - Shoot down waves of terrorist missiles in 3D.

Princess Condi's Teacups - A piano concerto plays but other than that this ride doesn't do much.

Cheney's Bunker - A spot in the park with a more adult flavor where you can sit back, have a drink and curse until you're blue in the face. (Note: it may be difficult to find.)

The park will also feature rollercoasters like the ShocknAwe, Preemptive Strike, Collateral Damage and Surging Insurgent.

Don't think for a second they forgot the little ones. There'll be characters like Shermie Sherman, Abe Abrams and Bernie Bunker Buster roaming throughout the park to delight the young and the young at heart alike.

9 comments:

Uncle Jophus said...

You forgot the Dick Cheney shooting range, where you try to avoid hitting ducks and instead shoot old men in the face (I know - it was too easy).

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