Thursday, May 04, 2006

I don't know if I can explain it to you. It's not only against the law, it's wrong!

President Bush has achieved infamy through his judicious use of Presidential signing statements or "fingers crossed no take backs" as we use to call them on the playground.

In reading up on his signing statements so far I came across some of his more famous signing statements including his stab in the back to John McCain who had just pushed through an anti-torture bill:

Law signed on Dec. 30, 2005: US interrogators cannot torture prisoners or otherwise subject them to cruel, inhuman, and degrading treatment.

Bush's signing statement: The president, as commander in chief, can waive the torture ban if he decides that harsh interrogation techniques will assist in preventing terrorist attacks.

But I was surprised at the pettiness of some of his lesser known signing statements:

Law signed on Dec. 30: When requested, scientific information ''prepared by government researchers and scientists shall be transmitted [to Congress] uncensored and without delay."

Bush's signing statement: The president as God's Chosen One has final say and jurisdiction over reality and, by extension, science. Congress can request scientific information be transmitted to them just as congress is also free to request that pigs fly- for as much good as it will do them.


Bill signed on Aug. 5: The military cannot add to its files any illegally gathered intelligence, including information obtained about Americans in violation of the Fourth Amendment's protection against unreasonable searches.

Bush's signing statement: Only the president, as commander in chief, can tell the military whether or not it can use any specific piece of intelligence. Also- the president doesn't like the word "intelligence." Henceforth secrets obtained by agencies of the defense department will be referred to as "super-secret spy stuff."


Bill signed on Dec. 23, 2004: Forbids US troops in Colombia from participating in any combat against rebels, except in cases of self-defense. Caps the number of US troops allowed in Colombia at 800.

Bush's signing statement: The president has declared Columbia a terrorist nation since they charged him more than $0.01 for CDs and sent him some CDs he didn't order.

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