Whoever holds the conch gets to speak.

Happy Friday! Today is Scotch & Cigar Day here at my office (after hours, of course.) I have a bottle of Glengoyne and a box of cubans I've been saving for this occasion. I might try and pawn off Jack Daniels and Swisher Sweets on Zaius and Randal instead of the good stuff. Don't tell 'em, okay?

Last night I went to Dean Jr.'s Parent/Teacher Conference and wound up laughing through the whole thing like an idiot. The problem was the had us waiting outside the classroom and there on the wall was a big poster his fifth grade class had made entitled "Books We Like To Read."

Next to each child's name was a list of one or two books they personally recommend. All of the books were what you might expect: "Lemony Snicket," "How to be a Pirate," "Harry Potter" or "Bart Simpson Comics."

Next to Dean Jr.'s name: "Lord of the Flies."

After staring at that for about 10 minutes I found myself unable to contain my giggling.

Of course this book choice does explain why he asked us the other day if he was "Emu" because he liked to wear black t-shirts. We looked at each other and then said "Why yes, son, you are a large flightless bird."

Anyhoo, Mr. Dr. Zaius AND the fabulous BAC tagged me with the the six-word biography virus thingy so...

Dungeonmaster.

Tackle.

Saint.

Pimp.

Hubby.

Pop.

I've had too much scotch to get out of my comfortable leather chair and tag anyone else so consider yourself lucky, punks.

We did everything just the way grownups would have. Why didn't it work? Things would be much better here if it wasn't for him. I wish he was dead.

Al Gore.

At this point that's who I want to be the next President of the United States.

Today's Oregonian ran a follow-up piece to the The Inconvenient Truth controversy in the Federal Way, Washington school district. It seems the student environmental club that wanted to show the film after school (facts conveniently omitted from the original piece) will be allowed to show the film but it will be the principal as to whether a film expressing an "opposing viewpoint" will be shown afterwards. I'm sure you recall the original story. Frosty Hardison, the ignorant rube, er parent, leading the fight against the film had summed up her outrage thusly: "Condoms don't belong in schools and neither does Al Gore."

Sure he does. He belongs in the front of the classroom where they hang the picture of the current President right next to the American flag.

Really there are three reasons why I personally want Al Gore to run and why I want him to win. The first two are noble, the third I recognize is less than mature on part.

The first reason is that it would simply be good for the country to once again have a smart, engaged President.

The second is that Al Gore's post-VP endeavors and particularly his work on global warming have won him huge good will with the world. President Gore could do a lot to restore all of the global good will of friends and allies tossed away so carelessly by President Bush.

My own petty selfish reason for wanting Al Gore to be President? Imagine if you will a January in 2009 when the next President of the United States, Al Gore, is being sworn in. In front of him holding the bible and administering the oath of office is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Just behind him is the man vacating the office - George W. Bush. Surrounded by people that hate him Bush would have to sit through a ceremony honoring a man and correcting the historic mistake of 2000. He'd have to hand the keys back to the grown-ups.

Run Al, run!